Thursday, July 13, 2017

Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Third Wheelman. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of July 14, 2017

Uber is not a reliable getaway car. First up…

 
The Fate of the Furious

The worst part of street racing in the summertime is you have to slow down in construction zones.

Fortunately, the motorists in this action movie can afford the double fines incurred.

While on a mission to retrieve an electromagnetic pulse device for agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), former street-racer turned secret agent Dom (Vin Diesel) betrays his crew (Michelle Rodriguez, Chris Bridges, Tyrese Gibson, Nathalie) and gives the EMP to a terrorist, Cipher (Charlize Theron).

Backed by black ops (Kurt Russell, Scott Eastwood), Hobbs and Dom’s crew track their former comrade to Russia, where he and Cipher have commandeered a nuclear submarine.

Equipped with over-the-top sports car chases, boastful banter and buckets of machismo, this eighth installment in the Fast and Furious franchise maintains those touchstones. However, its interpretation of those mainstays is more cartoonish than its predecessors.

Furthermore, due to the extreme depths they achieve, submarines are the ultimate low-rider.  Yellow Light

 

The Promise

Dating during wartime is hard since most of the restaurants and theaters are rubble.

However, the couples in this drama have been able to find love amid a holocaust.

On the eve of WWI an Armenian medical student (Oscar Isaac) studying in Constantinople manages to evade conscription in the Ottoman army long enough to fall in love with a Paris raised Armenian (Charlotte Le Bon).  Unfortunately, she is betrothed to an American newsman (Christian Bale) and he is promised to a neighbour’s daughter.

All four lives collide in the aftermath of the Great War, during Turkey’s systematic slaughter of the Armenian people.
The Promise is a well-acted piece of historical storytelling that doesn’t manipulate the facts of the Armenian Genocide for the sake of fiction. Unfortunately, the awkward love triangle only distracts from the enormity of the massacre.

Fortunately with post-war breakups, you have your wife stateside to console you.  Yellow Light

 
The Lost City of Z

The easiest way to find a lost tribe in the Amazon is to clear-cut the entire rainforest.

Sadly, the explorers in this drama forgot to bring some lumberjacks with them.

After returning home to England with ancient artifacts obtained on his latest expedition to the jungle to prove the existence of an advanced civilization, renowned explorer Percy Fawcett (Charlie Hunnam) becomes a laughingstock.

Not until after WWI does Fawcett find funding through the Rockefellers and is able to return to the wilderness with his son (Tom Holland) to find the lost city of Zed. Neither father nor son returned to Nina Fawcett (Sienna Miller).

The haunting tale of Fawcett’s real life disappearance that still remains unsolved, this artfully shot biography is an engaging adventure saga that is hindered by poor editing, a prolonged narrative and a weak lead.

Incidentally, if lost tribes wanted Englishmen to find them they would build pubs.  Yellow Light 


***Explorers Clubbing***

 
Aguirre, the Wrath of God

By the time technology makes exploring easy there’s nothing left to discover.

Which is why the adventurers in this drama didn’t wait for Google Maps to exist.

While on a Gonzalo Pizarro (Alejandro Repullés) lead expedition to find El Dorado, 16th century Spanish conquistador Lope de Aguirre (Klaus Kinski) is allocated to a small fleet sent down the Amazon river to scout ahead.

Joining Aguirre on the raft is his daughter (Cecilia Rivera), his commander (Ruy Guerra), his commander’s mistress (Helena Rojo), a nobleman and a priest.

Aguirre’s avarice eventually results in a mutiny. While his madness steers everyone aboard towards their deaths.

German director Werner Herzog’s disturbing depiction of colonialism, this cult classic uses fact on which to build its fictional account of Aguirre’s descent into lunacy. Success is ultimately achieved thanks to Kinski’s haunting performance.

Incidentally, the only civilization the conquistadors are credited with discovering is crazy town.

He’s a Triple Explorer. He’s the…
 
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