He’s a Scaredy–Cat Burglar. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of October 14, 2016
Note: Grave robbing doesn't require a
ski-mask for the corpse. First up…
Ghostbusters
Female Ghostbusters are better because you
get to pay them 40% less than their male counterparts.
Unfortunately, the gender wage gap doesn’t
benefit the entrepreneurs in this comedy.
When a book Dr. Gilbert (Kristen Wiig)
co-wrote on ghosts with her estranged colleague Dr. Yates (Melissa McCarthy) is
reprinted, its supernatural contents threaten her bid for college tenure.
To stop the publication, however, she must
join Yates’ ghost hunting team (Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones), who are currently
engaged in a conflict with a deranged genius (Neil Casey) intent on opening a
portal to another dimension.
While the all-female cast brings a fresh
perspective to the mythos, this re-working of the original is too haunted by
its predecessor to be its own movie. Not to mention its ghastly script, flat
jokes and lacklustre special effects.
Moreover, apparations from the 1800s will
be aghast to see these Ghostbusters in public unaccompanied by their
husbands. Red Light
Swiss Army Man
The worst thing about being a Swiss Army
Man is TSA confiscates you before every flight.
Luckily, the multi-purpose corpse in this
dark comedy has its own means of propulsion.
When a flatulent cadaver, Manny (Daniel
Radcliffe), washes up on the shores of Hank’s (Paul Dano) deserted island, he
rides the gassy stiff back to civilization.
Lost in the thickets, Hank use Manny’s
erection to navigate. En route, he teaches the carcass about love using Sarah
(Mary Elizabeth Winstead) as an example. Now, Manny wants to find Sarah so he
can confess his love for her.
A divisive film if ever there was, Swiss
Army Man attempts to dissect deep psychological issues using dead dick and fart
jokes to do it. The only problem is none of it is humorous, quirky or
otherwise.
Incidentally, when a cadaver washes up on
your deserted island, their 10 favourite albums belong to you. Red Light
The Legend of Tarzan
The upside to being raised by apes is you
keep your human friends lice free.
Mind you, the simian reared aristocrat in
this action-adventure abhors his heritage.
Lord Greystoke (Alexander Skarsgård), née
Tarzan, must return to the jungle he was marooned in as an infant to prevent
its enslavement at the hands of the Belgium King who has deployed an evil envoy
(Christoph Waltz) to reap it riches.
Accompanied by his wife Jane (Margot
Robbie) and an American businessman (Samuel L. Jackson), the ape-man soon
learns he was really lured back by a vengeful chieftain (Djimon Hounsou).
Despite some questionable special effects
and a few bad one-liners, Legend is the most comprehensive and visually
thrilling interpretation of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ character yet. Moreover, it
finally adds a self-reliant Jane to the mainly misogynistic mythos.
Fortunately, when your in-laws are apes you
don’t have to set your bathroom standards so high. Green Light
***Ghost Blusters***
Spook Busters
The hardest part of ghost hunting is
violently murdering the innocent to increase business.
Fortuitously, the restless spirits in this
comedy are just a ruse by the resident.
Receiving their first job after graduating
exterminating school and starting their own business, The Bowery Boys (William
Benedict, Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, Bobby Jordan, David Gorcey) head to a haunted
house to rid it of its unwanted inhabitants.
Accompanied by their friends (Gabriel Dell,
Tanis Chandler), the gang enters the mansion unaware that the mad scientist
(Douglass Dumbrille) within plots to use one of their brains for transplant
into his gorilla.
Merely the fourth instalment in the long
running series, Spook Busters, née Ghost Busters, remains one of the comedy
troupe’s most recognized and rambunctious episodes, thanks mostly to the
inclusion of the zany primate.
But in the end apes are much easier to
capture than ghosts on account you can club them.
He’s a Ouija Board Member. He’s the…
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