Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Tortured Soul Musician. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of August 19, 2016

Tornadoes <3 summer country music festivals. First up…

 

Born to Be Blue

The key to being a successful musician/drug addict is picking the most lucrative genre in which to perform.

Unfortunately, the strung-out artist in this drama chose Jazz.

Failing to pay his drug debts, jazz heartthrob Chet Baker (Ethan Hawke) has his front teeth kicked in in front of his new girlfriend (Carmen Ejogo). Unable to play his horn he must now answer to a parole officer who requires him to find a real job.

While he agrees to undergo drug treatment, Chet refuses to give-up performing, even though his new affliction leaves him sounding like an amateur.

While Hawke turns in a remarkable portrayal of the embattled Baker, the Baker he is depicting isn’t the real Chet Baker, but a fictional account of the addict that uses his bumpy history and embellishes it with substantial poetic license.   

Besides, junkies make the worst fans because they never leave after the concert.  Yellow Light

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Fathers and Daughters

The key to forging a strong father-daughter bond is the dad’s willingness to serve invisible tea to stuffed-animals.

Sadly, the father in this drama didn’t make it to manservant status.

In the present, Katie (Amanda Seyfried) is a sex addict who has anonymous hook-ups to fill a void left by her mentally ill father, Jake (Russell Crowe), an award-winning author.

In the past, Jake suffers from violent seizures caused by the death of his wife. Meanwhile, his in-laws are petitioning to keep him from seeing his 5-year old daughter, Katie.

Sullen, bleak and unrelentingly depressing, this American-Italian co-production may be a well-acted and somewhat interesting exploration of the affects a parent’s past actions have on their child’s present, but it’s parental profundity is done-in by its muddled, melancholic, and occasionally preserves subject-matter. 

On the bright side, at least his daughter isn’t having sex with nameless strangers in exchange for money. Red Light

The Nice Guys

If it weren’t for bad fathers there wouldn’t be any porn stars in the world today.

Thankfully, there are no shortages of either in this buddy-comedy.

When an adult film actress (Margaret Qualley) disappears, a gruff enforcer (Russell Crowe) is forced to work with a PI (Ryan Gosling) and his daughter (Angourie Rice) in order to find her - and to dissuade a dangerous third-party.

But when her latest project turns out to be an X-rated expose on the car industry’s exhaust inhibitor cover-up, the motley detectives find themselves searching for her misplaced stag film at the 1977 L.A. Auto Show.

With all of the sleaze of 1970s pulp cinema and the witty banter and odd couple camaraderie of classic comedic duos, Gosling and Crowe forge a unique bromance through a sharp script and apt directing.

Furthermore, porn shoots make the best crime scenes on account they’re covered in DNA evidence.  Green Light

 

The Angry Birds Movie

Online, people are either playing with themselves or playing against themselves.

Fortunately, this animated-comedy was based on people performing the latter.

An irate avian, Red (Jason Sudeikis), is incensed when a boatload of green-skinned pigs land on Bird Island and introduce the flightless populace to helium.

Red’s rage intensifies when more swine show up and all the birds’ eggs start disappearing. Eventually Red and his equally flustered friends (Sean Penn, Danny McBride, Josh Gad) engage the pigs in warfare using weapons forged from pig tech in order to win back their missing ova.

With subtle odes to colonialism and nods to the indoctrination of a native species, this vividly rendered kids cartoon based on the popular gaming app is surprisingly deep.  Nevertheless, its profundity isn’t enough to keep this humorless commercial from becoming tiresome.

Furthermore, the birds' victory simply comes down to avian flu being more infectious than swine flu.  Red Light

***Fool’s Gold Diggers***

 

The Road to El Dorado

Unopened cold and flu medication would have decimated native cultures if it weren’t for early white explorers.

Thankfully, the itinerants in this animated adventure come fully infected.

With a map to a city of gold on the other side of the ocean, Spanish con artists Tulio (Kevin Kline) and Miguel (Kenneth Branagh) hitch a ride to the New World in hopes of locating it.

When they do, however, they must convince the chief (Edward James Olmos) and high priest (Armand Assante) that they are Gods in order to access to the riches. They accomplish this with help from a local (Rosie Perez).

DreamWorks’ most overlooked outings, this buddy-comedy set during the Americas colonization by Spain is also one of its most enjoyable - thanks to its mature themes, Elton John songs and one hilarious equine sidekick.

Moreover, it’s exciting to learn about a time in history when Spain was relevant.

He’s the Long Con-quistador. He’s the…

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