Thursday, March 17, 2016

Be Kind, Please Rewind

He Flies Under the Gaydar. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of March 18, 2016

Never mix-up a gay pride parade with a white pride parade. First up…


Carol

The toughest part of being in a same-sex relationship is deciding who has to sleep on the couch after an argument.

Fortunately, the Sapphic socialite in this drama is likely to have a really comfy one.

Manhattan shop girl Therese (Rooney Mara) becomes smitten with a sophisticated older woman, Carol (Cate Blanchett), who invites her to spend the holidays with her.

But Carol’s ex-husband (Kyle Chandler) and Therese’s boyfriend (Jake Lacy) are adamant against their forbidden affair.

So much so, that now the court is threatening to take Carol’s daughter from her because of her alternative lifestyle.

An unexpectedly optimistic lesbian love story set in the ridged 1950s, this handsomely shot art-house adaptation of the gay-lit novel from the same era honors its iconic backdrop with sets and costumes as alluring and nuanced as its May-December leads.   

Thankfully, nowadays, society would only have a problem with the lesbians’ noticeable age difference.  Green Light

Sisters

The easiest way to tell which sister is the crazy one is by asking who the oldest is.

And while this comedy doesn’t analyze the lucidity of birth order, it is about siblings going crazy.

When their parents (Dianne Wiest, James Brolin) sell their family home, reckless Kate (Tina Fey) and responsible Maura (Amy Poehler) host one last house party.

Inviting their friends from high school (John Leguizamo, Bobby Moynihan, Samantha Bee) and their new neighbor (Ike Barinholtz), they try to recreate their glory days with booze, drugs and debauchery. 

But a conflict concerning Kate’s daughter drives a wedge between them.

Despite the zany premise and comedic talent of both leads, Sisters is an unfunny foray into the sad-sack realm of female adulthood that’s unceremoniously seasoned with unsavory dick and fart jokes.

And just because your parents move out, doesn’t mean the new homeowners don’t want a 40-year-old in their basement.  Red Light

 
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The Big Short

The best part of homeownership in the early-2000s was if your house ever burnt down, you still had two left over.

While no one saw this as a problem, the suits in this dramedy did…and made millions.

When rogue hedge fund manager Michael Burry (Christian Bale) uncovers what will eventually become the housing bubble, he predicts its eventual collapse, and despite ridicule from every bank he meets with, he bets against it.

His credit default swap scheme, however, ends up intriguing a trader (Ryan Gosling), an investor (Finn Wittrock), another hedge fund manager (Steve Carell) and an ex-banker (Brad Pitt), all of who want in.

Clarifying the complexities of the financial crisis and defining the convoluted terminology involved with elucidatory side vignettes, this layperson adaptation of the non-fiction novel is frightening, facetious, and keenly insightful.

Incidentally, with all those subsequent foreclosures, smart traders would’ve invested in cans of squatter spray.  Green Light
 
***Girl-on-Girl Reaction***

 
The Children’s Hour

The best way to keep your lesbian relationship secret is by telling everyone you’re sisters.

The lovers in this drama, however, choose to deny their passions outright.

When a spiteful private school student spreads rumors that her teachers, Martha (Shirley MacLaine) and Karen (Audrey Hepburn), are lesbians, she puts Karen’s engagement to Joe (James Garner) as well as both women’s careers in jeopardy.

As the validity of the allegations are scrutinized by the faculty so too do both women explore their own feelings for each other. But the shame for one is too much to bear.

One of the first, and few, Hollywood movies to discuss homosexuality, this 1961 film adaptation of the infamous play is a well-acted think piece that cunningly expounds on the dangers of gossip.

Besides, the best way to tell if a female teacher is a possible lesbian is by having them teach a gym class.

He's a Biodiesel Dyke. He's the...


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