Thursday, March 3, 2016

Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Boxing Ring Bearer. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of March 4, 2016

Rusty nails on the gloves would really amp boxing up. First up…


Creed

The reason why retired boxers don’t do color commentary is because their concussed brains see 4 fighters instead of 2.

Surprisingly, the archaic pugilist in this drama has contracted a non-boxing ailment.

Determined to make a name for himself in the ring, Adonis (Michael B. Jordan), the son of Apollo Creed, seeks out his father’s old rival and friend, Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone), to train him.

When the media gets wind of Adonis legacy, he quickly lands a landmark bout.

But his shot at the light heavyweight championship is endangered when his mentor is diagnosed with cancer.

A refreshing addition to the Rocky anthology, Creed is as much homage to the original as it is an update of the mythos.

With knockout performances, kinetic direction, and rapid-fire editing all aiding in its inspirational yet unconventional sports movie trajectory.

Conversely, retired ringside cutman can always get seasonal stitch-work with the NHL.  Green Light

 

The Danish Girl

Most men only want to be female so that they can cry their way out of speeding tickets.

However, the dude in this drama actually identifies with the feminine gender.

When asked by his wife Gerda (Alicia Vikander) to model nylons for a portrait, Einar Wegener’s (Eddie Redmayne) secret desire to cross-dress is finally sated.
                                                                                               
Encouraged by Gerda to go a gala as his alter ego Lilli, Einer attends the event in drag and attracts the eye of a bachelor Henrik (Ben Whishaw).

Later, Gerda’s paintings of Lilli begin to sell, while Lilli herself undergoes a procedure to become a permanent woman so she can marry Henrik.

Although its transgendered subject matter is certainly timely and Redmayne’s performance is utterly transcending, most of the facts of this fact-based biography are bent to better its provocative love story.

Incidentally, a telltale sign if a woman was once a man is their level of flatulence.  Yellow Light

Room

To catch child abductors, the police should be staking out Home Depot’s sex-dungeon department.

Unfortunately, the captor’s enclosure in this drama was preexisting.

Raised by his mother, Joy (Brie Larson), in a backyard shed belonging to the man who abducted her when she was a teenager, five-year-old Jack (Jacob Tremblay) is completely unaware of life beyond the room where she and he are imprisoned.

After a successful escape, the two try to acclimate to outside life. This includes reconciling with Joy’s now-divorced parents (Joan Allen, William H. Macy) and dealing with the media’s victim shaming.

The most frightening yet life-affirming films in years, this character-driven adaption of the novel will resonate with views, not only for its brave performances, but also for Jack’s alien-like viewpoint of the world we take for granted.

Ironically, the shut-ins discovered that everyone in the outside world was being held captive in a virtual prison. Green Light

***Foxy Boxing Day***


Girlfight

The main thing that separates male and female boxers is the hair and make-up team the woman’s corner.

Mind up, the feminine prizefighter in this drama doesn’t like to cover up her black eyes.

Troubled teenager Diana (Michelle Rodriguez) finds an outlet for her angry when she attends her brother’s boxing lesson. But she is unable to afford a trainer until he decides to drops out and pursue art.

Eventually she forms a relationship with her sparring partner (Jaime Tirelli). But it is later jeopardized when they are set to fight one another, and he refuses to step into the ring.

The gritty Indy love story that put Michelle Rodriguez on the map, Girlfight is a balanced battle-of-the-sexes sports drama that confronts heavyweight issues, like poverty, abuse and suicide, with tact and artistry.

However, female boxing would be more popular if opponents didn’t apologize to each other after every punch.

He’s Throwing in the Sanitary Towel. He’s the…

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