He’s a Dark Horse Whisperer. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of July 10, 2015
Coming from behind isn’t only for
stranglers. First up…
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
The one thing that mall cops can’t protect
their employers from is the public’s lack of interest in shopping malls.
Fortunately, the rent-a-cop in this comedy
is headed to a less depressing place.
Still reeling from the death of his mother
and the disintegration of his marriage, Paul’s (Kevin James) ecstatic to
receive an invitation to the security guard convention in Vegas.
With his daughter (Raini Rodriguez) in tow,
Paul parades around Sin City under the assumption that he is the key note speaker.
Threatening Paul’s imagined accolades is a
sophisticated thief (Neal McDonough) who plans to pilfer the priceless
paintings from the hotel where he’s staying.
The superfluous sequel to the inane
original, Paul Bart 2 doesn’t expand much beyond James’ waistline, which, by
the way, is integral to the fat-guy pratfalls that dominate the insipid script.
Besides, the best way to protect original
artwork is with exploding dye-packs. Red
Light
Woman in Gold
The worst thing about growing old is everyone starts to dispute that it’s you in all of your portraits.
Facial recognition, however, isn’t imperative in this drama – proof of ownership is.
Made aware of the fact that the portrait of her aunt that was stolen by the Nazis is now hanging in an Austrian gallery, Maria Altmann (Helen Mirren) hires an inexperienced lawyer, Randy Schoenberg (Ryan Reynolds), to repossess it for her.
With assistance from a journalist (Daniel Brühl), they challenge Austria’s ownership of Gustav Klimt's The Woman in Gold in court, but turn up short each time.
It’s not until they contest proprietorship on US soil do they see results.
An intriguing and inspiring true account of retribution, Woman in Gold may lag with numerous wartime flashbacks but the outcome is still an edifying one.
It Follows
Out of all of the STD’s, getting pregnant
is probably the worst.
But as this horror movie suggests - you
could contract something even worse.
Immediately after having sex, Hugh (Jake
Weary) tells Jay (Maika Monroe) that he’s transmitted a curse to her that will
exterminate every previous carrier if she is killed by the shape-shifting
entity that’ll be following her until she passes it on.
Aided by her friends (Keir Gilchrist,
Olivia Luccardi, Lili Sepe), Jay flees the creature – having intercourse in the
interim to break the curse - but to no avail.
Out of options, they attempt to kill the
being before its carnal chain letter unravels.
Atmospheric with a moody soundtrack to
match, It Follows is an art-house horror movie with layers of sexual subtext;
however, this approach evokes more contemplation than trepidation.
Besides, the stranger following you around
after sex is usually your partner’s ex.
Yellow Light
***Know Loitering***
Mallrats
If it weren’t for shopping malls teenagers
would be forced to spend their weekends playing organized sports.
Even the twenty-something year olds would
be distraught without the mall, as this comedy illustrates.
To console his friend T.S. (Jeremy London)
after his break-up with Brandi (Claire Forlani), Brodie (Jason Lee) takes him
to the local mall to hangout.
While networking with the other unmotivated
shoppers (Ethan Suplee, Jason Mewes, Kevin Smith), the boys learn of a dating
game being staged in the mall that will feature Brandi.
Seeing this as an opportunity to win her
back, T.S. enters as a would-be suitor.
Renowned for its outlandish characters and
comic book laden content way before it was commonplace, Mallrats’ puerile and
goofy storyline still stands as one of writer/director Kevin Smith’s greatest
achievement in slacker humour.
Surprisingly, however, it’s now the
stay-at-home moms that are loitering in the food court all day.
He’s 50% Off-putting. He’s the…
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