Thursday, July 23, 2015

Be Kind, Please Rewind


He has Low Artificial Intelligence. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of July 24, 2015

Being a robot means you don’t have to wear pants. First up…


Ex Machina

All of our advancements in cybernetics have solely been for one purpose: creating sex-bots.

Happily, the reclusive genius in this sci-fi film has come close.

When the CEO of the search engine company he works for selects Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) to join him in his mountain retreat, the young programmer is apprehensive.

Caleb is welcomed to the compound by the eccentric scientist (Oscar Isaac), who is excited to have him there to conduct a Turing test on the female robot he has made: Ava (Alicia Vikander).

Believing he’s just there to prove the machines A.I. capabilities, Caleb soon learns that his host wants him to prove that Ava is capable of something more than just convincing conversation.

Visually striking and mentally challenging, Ex Machina is an important benchmark in cyborg cinema with thoughtful performances and an engaging script.

Furthermore, when the sex-bots breakdown they can always be repurposed as war-machines.  Green Light


The Longest Ride

Animal rights activists would have a way better time at bull riding competitions if they would just root for the bull to paralyze the rider.

However, the art student in this romantic movie is cheering for the rider’s safety.

Catching the eye of North Carolina coed Sophia (Britt Robertson) when he is tossed from a bull at a local rodeo, Luke (Scott Eastwood) bestows her with his cowboy hat.

The pair later goes on a date. On their way home, they rescue an old man (Alan Alda) from a burning car who turns out to be an art collector with a troubled love story similar to Sophia and Luke’s ill-fated relationship.

Based on Nicholas Sparks’ novel, The Longest Ride is no departure from the lovelorn author’s cinematic schmaltz, thanks to its preposterous ending and ham-fisted acting.  

Incidentally, bull-riders believe lasting for 8 seconds in the bedroom is also an accomplishment.  Red Light

 
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

The hardest part of running a hotel in India is convincing tourists they won’t be gang raped when they visit.

That said, the hotel operators in this romantic-comedy want to open a second inn.

Determined to open a sister site to their successful sleeping lodge, Muriel (Maggie Smith) and Sonny (Dev Patel) travel stateside to get investors.

Informed an inspector would come to appraise the value of the venture, Muriel and Sonny return to India to prepare for the unknown overseer.

Back home, a mysterious American (Richard Gere) checks into the existing hotel, and begins romancing Sonny’s mother (Lillete Dubey).

Meanwhile, longstanding guests (Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Penelope Wilton) deal with their own issues.

With too many romantic subplots tied to a flimsy mistaken identity storyline, this second stay at the Exotic Marigold is wholly unsatisfactory. 
  
Fortunately, in lieu of mints, Indian hotels do leave chicken vindaloo on your pillow.  Red Light

***A Stitch-Face in Time***


Frankenstein Unbound

The upside to Frankenstein as your doctor is that 6-months after he diagnoses you as terminal he can bring you back to life.

But as this sci-fi/horror movie encapsulates: resuscitation isn’t always the best option.

Thrust backwards to 1817 via a portal created by a laser he invented to end war, 2031 native Dr. Buchanan (John Hurt) is stunned to meet Victor Frankenstein (Raul Julia), whose nanny is on trial for murdering his brother.

But many villagers, including writer Mary Shelly (Bridget Fonda), feel that the real murderer is the monster living in the nearby woods.

Further investigation discloses that the monster is blackmailing Frankenstein to make him a mate.  

With capable acting, passable special effects and a fascinating premise, schlockmeister Roger Corman tempers his trashy tendencies in order to bring the novel to life.

Incidentally, if the monster is looking for someone as ugly as him there’s always Match.com.

He’s a Frankenstein Hoist. He’s the…

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