He’s a Historical Caricature. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of March 13, 2015
The past is where the present goes to die. First up…
Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb
Trapped in a museum that comes to life is only pleasurable if that museum is in Amsterdam’s red-light district.
Sadly, the lively gallery in this comedy is found in London, England.
When the enchanted Egyptian tablet that brings New York’s Museum of Natural History to life every night goes on the fritz, Larry (Ben Stiller), his son and some exhibits (Robin Williams, Owen Wilson, Steve Coogan, Rami Malek) go to the British Museum to speak to it’s architect (Ben Kingsley).
But a sentient wax statue of Sir Lancelot (Dan Stevens) steals the tablet to impress King Arthur.
With a bevy of old and new characters to distract from the schmaltzy father/son moments, this final installment of the amiable and awkwardly educational series is a fitting, and often funny, bookend to this middling franchise.
Incidentally, if you ever want to make-out with celebrities just take the tablet to a Madame Tussauds. Yellow Light
Hardest part of being a celebrity is coming up with excuses as to why being a celebrity is hard.
Luckily, the movie star in this comedy has typecasting to blame from his arduous existence.
Disinterested in playing the character that made him famous, former stand-up Andre Allen (Chris Rock) stars instead in a drama about a Haitian revolutionary.
The week of its release, a writer (Rosario Dawson) accompanies him as he visits family and friends, revealing insight into his sobriety and pending marriage to a reality TV star (Gabrielle Union) along the way.
But a growing attraction between the interlocutors threatens the heavily publicized nuptials.
Written and directed by Chris Rock, Top Five is a respectable debut.
With non-stop cameos and off-colour commentary on everything, Rock mimics his onstage act with ease but overdoes it on deriding public sentiment.
Besides, being a rich stand-up comedian means you can bribe hecklers. Yellow Light
Whiplash
Being the drummer means being out of range of beer bottles the audience throws at your band.
However, the audience attending performances in this drama are more apt to lob wine glasses.
Determined to be a great musician like his idols, Andrew (Miles Teller), a freshmen drummer enrolled in the Shaffer Conservatory’s Jazz program, accepts a spot on the studio band.
But the ensemble’s abusive conductor (J. K. Simmons) abruptly dissolves any dreams Andrew had of glory.
Discouraged by his teacher’s exacting and insulting nature, Andrew is pushed to his physical and emotional edge.
The caustic couple later climaxes onstage where each humiliates the other in order to achieve their best.
With intense, inspired performances from both leads, breakneck editing, and an unrelenting rhythm permeating throughout, Whiplash is a fresh, in-your-face, approach to weary mentor/mentee movie clichés.
Furthermore, drum solos are the ideal time to go to the washroom. Green Light
***Soundtrack Marks***
Lady Sings The Blues
The thing that makes jazz musicians different from other musicians is they do their drugs before they perform.
In fact, the singer in this drama did drugs constantly.
Abused by men most her life, Billie Holiday (Diana Ross) abandons the brothel where she works for a nightclub where she accompanies the piano player (Richard Pryor).
Her unique voice quickly attracts a suitor (Billy Dee Williams) as well as A&R types who sign her to a radio tour.
Being on the road, however, only exposes Billie to the racial inequality crippling the country and the intravenous drug that will eventually enslave her.
With Diana Ross’ captivating performance as Billie both on and off the stage, this 1972 adaptation of Holiday’s own biography is a heartbreaking account of her arduous life and untimely demise.
And while drug use in Jazz may still be rampant no one cares enough to check.
He’s a Strumpet Player. He’s…
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