He’s a Check-stop Sign. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of December 13, 2013
There’s no eggnog in alcohol,
officer. First up…
Fast & Furious 6
The best way to curb street
racing in your community is to generate constant gridlock.
Mind you, the racers in this
action movie are inclined to go off-road.
Dominic (Vin Diesel) comes
out of hiding to help DSS agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) stop a rogue soldier (Luke Evans) from selling an EMP on the black market.
In exchange, he and his crew
(Paul Walker, Gal Gadot, Jordana Brewster, Sung Kang, Tyrese Gibson, Chris
Bridges) want amnesty for their US crimes and the freedom to return home.
The fifth sequel in the
series, Fast 6 doesn’t dazzle like its predecessor Fast 5 but it does maintain
the franchise’s new espionage angle.
And while racing takes a back
seat in this one, there are enough overblown car-chases, unexpected cameos and
sudsy melodrama to propel the series onward.
But, as always, this series
disregards the real victims of street racing: ran-over
flag-girls.
Yellow Light
The Family
The hardest part of being
under witness protection with your family is not telling the killer where your
brother is all of the time.
Thankfully, the brother and
sister in this action/comedy are amicable.
Relocated to Normandy, France
after another incident involving their father’s (Robert De Niro) mob boss
tendencies, Belle (Dianna Agron) and her brother Warren (John D'Leo) promptly
establish their dominance at school.
Meanwhile, their mother (Michelle Pfeiffer) sets fires
around town, and their dad details his life in an unsanctioned memoir.
However, their quaint
community turns war zone when an old family friend locates their whereabouts.
Jerking from light-hearted
comedy to scenes of attempted rape and violence with unemotional ease, The
Family’s frenetic storytelling instills a sense of dissatisfaction and general
unease.
Incidentally, the only disguises for an Italian mafia boss in the witness protection program are a
pizza pie maker, magical plumber and mob boss impersonator. Red Light
Despicable Me 2
The reason super villains
don’t date is because they’re obligated to dine and dash.
Thankfully, the scoundrel in
this animated movie has abandoned the bad life.
Rearing his daughters
(Miranda Cosgrove, Elsie Fisher, Dana Gaier) in suburbia, former baddie Gru
(Steve Carell) is enlisted by The Anti-Villain League to apprehend a thief who
stole a transformative formula.
Partnered with an AVL agent
(Kristen Wiig), Gru targets the local mall.
Zoning in on super villain
turned restaurateur El Macho (Benjamin Bratt) as the culprit, Gru is stunned
when the heist is blamed on a wig shop owner (Ken Jeong) instead.
Meanwhile, his lovable
minions have been malformed into macabre menaces.
The obvious sequel to the
original success, number 2 delivers the same juvenile laughs while also
exploring single parenting further.
In fact, 9 times out of10,
the children of super villains grow up to lead very meaningful lives via
identity theft.
Green Light
***Nylon Stocking
Stuffers***
Little Women
The key to raising daughters
is ensuring you find a nanny who lost a daughter of her own to raise them.
However, the sisters in this
drama will have to settle for their own mother’s nurturing.
Amid the turmoil of the Civil
War, the March Sisters - Meg (Trini Alvarado), Jo (Winona Ryder), Beth (Claire
Danes), and Amy (Kirsten Dunst/Samantha Mathis) - learn lessons in love from
their many suitors (Eric Stoltz, Gabriel Byrne, Christian Bale).
As Jo, Meg and Amy pursue their
fancies, Beth remains at home with Marmee (Susan Sarandon).
The sisters grow so distant
that it takes a great loss to bring them back to Massachusetts.
Although their lives unfold
over years, this fifth and first-rate adaptation of the novel has a holiday
spirit that rings throughout its family-centric plotline.
Incidentally, the highlight
of the 19th century holiday season was always the annual ugly
Christmas petticoat ball.
He’s been in the Christmas Spirits. He’s the…
Vidiot
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