Vidiot
Week of September 6, 2013
Hares are cheaper than rabbits. First up…
Now You See Me
The key to being a successful Las Vegas magician is to offer
a free buffet during your act.
However, the illusionists in this thriller are more profitable
without chaffing dishes.
Four high-profile prestidigitators, hypnotist Merritt (Woody
Harrelson), escape artist Henley (Isla Fisher), slight of hand man Jack (Dave
Franco) and illusionist J. Daniel Atlas (Jesse Eisenberg), each receive a tarot
card from an anonymous source that brings them all together.
A year later, the quartet has combined their individual acts
into one spectacular stage show that involves transcontinental bank heists.
Now the conjurers must evade the FBI (Mark Ruffalo),
Interpol (Mélanie Laurent) and a magic debunker (Morgan Freeman) with a camera
crew.
Distracting audiences with its ensemble cast and flashy
pageantry, NYSM gets away with improbable illusions and a surprise ending that
doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.
Besides, magicians of this caliber only work together at the
Emir’s birthday party. 0
The Iceman
The upside to a father who’s a hired gun is he won’t kill
you for crashing his car unless someone pays him to.
Unfortunately, the contract killer in this crime-drama might
do it pro bono.
Moonlighting as a loan shark enforcer, Richard Kuklinski
(Michael Shannon) catches the eye of Gambino affiliated gangster Roy DeMeo (Ray
Liotta).
In his private life, Richard weds Deborah (Winona Ryder) and
they have two daughters. All are unaware of his true profession.
To make ends meet, Richard must seek contracts outside of
the crime syndicate. Partnering with an ice-cream truck driver (Chris Evans),
he branches out.
However, his side-job doesn’t go over well with the family
or the police.
Based on the true story, The Iceman is an astonishing
account of mob violence punctuated by Shannon’s cold-blooded performance.
Furthermore, no parent will ever stand in front of assassin dad’s camcorder during the school play. 0
The Lords of Salem
To tell if a woman is a witch simply call Gaia a whore and
see how she reacts.
Mind you, the witches in this horror movie would actually
worship a whore.
A Salem radio DJ, Heidi (Sheri Moon Zombie), receives an
anonymous package addressed to her surname.
Inside, she finds a record by the band The Lords of Salem.
Hypnotized by their music, she recalls her family’s history
with a local coven.
When the Lords play Salem, Heidi learns she’ll birth the
Anti-Christ as compensation for her reverend witch-hunter relative (Andrew
Prine) who torched the Lords in 1696.
While it has potential, Rob Zombie’s poorly acted dirge is
nothing more than a flimsy script littered with oddball imagery and nonsensical
strangeness he culled from surrealist directors with more talent.
Besides, no matter what spell you cast, there’s no way to
stop the best singing witch in the band from going solo. 0
***Warts and All***
Häxan: Witchcraft Through The Ages
If magic were still considered to be witchcraft than Las
Vegas magic acts would be nothing more than glitzy illusionists burning at the
stake.
Unfortunately, this documentary doesn’t depict David
Copperfield on a spit.
Commencing with a narrated exposition on humanities first held beliefs towards demonology, witchcraft and Hell, this chronicle then
centers on the myths surrounding Satan and witches during medieval times.
Next, a parable about an old crone accused of witchcraft
serves as an example of the legalities/intimidation involved with a charge of
sorcery.
The allegory concludes with a contemporary take on the
middle-age methods for dealing with witchcraft. Present day mental institutes
are also discussed.
While it sounds bland on paper, this black-and-white silent
film from Sweden not only has the most nightmarish depictions of Satan, demons
and old hags ever, it’s also very edifying.
Incidentally, after prostitution, witchcraft is the next
oldest female profession.
He’s a Witch’s Brew Master. He’s the…
Vidiot
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