He’s a Freak Flag Burner. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of August 16, 2013
Flagpoles are just vertical clotheslines. First up…
Olympus Has Fallen
What’s that: Olympus has fallen? Quick, grab all of the ambrosia!
False alarm. The Olympus in this action movie isn’t the home of the Gods but the American President.
On the South Korean Prime Minister’s visit to the White House, members of his party (Rick Yune) and a former secret service agent (Dylan McDermott) take the Master and Chief (Aaron Eckhart) hostage.
Filling his wingtips is the Speaker of the House (Morgan Freeman), who is now responsible for meeting the terrorists' demands: codes to missile silos.
Meanwhile, ex-USSS Agent Banning (Gerard Butler) is on Pennsylvania Avenue during the air strike, and voluntarily returns to the oval office as a one-man army.
While the action is acute, Butler’s banter with the combatant is contemptible. Not to mention, the exhausted Die Hard plot the story adheres to.
Incidentally, you should always check a president’s approval rating before you pay their ransom. 0
The Big Wedding
The upside to a destination wedding is that the plane carrying your in-laws could crash.
Unfortunately, the mother-in-law in this comedy landed in America safely.
When their adopted son Alejandro (Ben Barnes) announces he’s engaged to Missy (Amanda Seyfried), Don (Robert De Niro) and his ex-wife Ellie (Diane Keaton) couldn’t be happier.
But their joy only last until they learn Alejandro’s devout Catholic birth-mother will be attending the wedding, and they must pretend to be married.
This doesn’t sit well with Don’s current girlfriend (Susan Sarandon), Ellie’s old best friend.
Elsewhere, their other son (Topher Grace) hits on Alejandro’s real sister; their daughter (Katherine Heigl) struggles with her boyfriend; and their priest (Robin Williams) tries to make sense of it all.
With its wasted cast, tasteless jokes and simplistic sitcom script, this adaptation of the French comedy was lost in translation.
Besides, if Catholic priests could get married, they’d condone divorce. 0
***White Padded Gown***
Melancholia
The upside to marrying at the end of the world is you don’t have to send your guests thank-you cards.
Mind you, the wedding attendees in this drama wouldn’t expect them anyways.
Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and her husband (Kiefer Sutherland) host her sister Justine’s (Kirsten Dunst) wedding at their palatial estate.
An unmitigated disaster due to Justine’s creeping sadness, the reception ends with the couple’s separation and Justine’s dissent into melancholia.
But when an unknown planet emerges from behind the sun and sets a collision course with Earth, Justine is roused from her depression.
What’s more, she becomes the composed caretaker of her nephew (Cameron Spurr), while his parents panic.
An analytical account of a mental disorder during an apocalyptic crisis, Melancholia is a peculiar and ominous study of both sides of the human psyche.
Furthermore, if depressed people are good in emergency situations, EMS should only hire Goths.
He's a Wedding Train-wreck. He's the...
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