Vidiot
Week of September 21, 2012
Triggers should have skill testing questions. First up…
The Cabin in the Woods
When spending time at a cabin in the woods it’s important to remember the essentials: beers, babes and bone cutters.
Unfortunately, the co-eds in this horror-comedy only brought 2 of the 3 basics with them, so there'll be plenty of gangrene.
Dana (Kristen Connolly) and her friends (Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams) decide to stay at a shack in the sticks owned by a distant relative.
After settling in, the group uncovers a stash of scripture in the cellar that, when read aloud, brings the dead to life.
While carnage ensues above, beneath the cottage is a clandestine control centre, where loquacious technicians (Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford) manipulate the group’s emotions.
An abnormal fabrication of screams and laughs, Cabin in the Woods infuses sci-fi with the slasher genre and toys with its archetypes.
However, the scariest thing about a cabin in the woods remains: no Internet. 0
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
The thing about hotels for senior citizens is that the word "hotel" is just a code word for hospice.
However, in the case of this dramedy, hotel actually does mean hotel.
A group of elderly strangers meet on a flight to India: Evelyn (Judi Dench) is an indebted widowed, Muriel (Maggie Smith) is a cantankerous convalescent, Jean (Penelope Wilton) and Doug (Bill Nighy) are unhappily married, and Graham (Tom Wilkinson) is looking for a lost love.
Once in India, the group stays at the same rickety inn, run by a bungling manager (Dev Patel).
During their duration, each adapts to their new surroundings; gaining new perspective on their life in the process.
Squarely aimed at the senile, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel does deal with issues involving the heart that transcend age. Its British wit has a similar effect.
Incidentally, chocolates on the pillows in seniors’ hotel rooms are laxatives. 0
Katy Perry: Part of Me
This better not be the part of pop princess Katy Perry that suffers unsightly acne outbreaks.
Phew! This isn’t a feature-length Proactiv infomercial about Perry’s pimple preventative methods but a 3D documentary about her life.
Inviting a camera crew on her California Dreams Tour, the colourful crooner openly discusses her controversial transition from gospel singer to innuendo-laced performer.
Through family interviews and home movies, Perry’s path to the spotlight is well documented, as are her religious parents’ feelings towards their daughter’s lascivious lyrics.
Between background stories and backstage antics, Perry performs hits from her repertoire festooned in garish candy-inspired costumes.
While fans of the soloist will enjoy seeing her outlandish stage show, detractors of the overtly sexual singer will simply see it as a marketing ploy by record executives to bolster album sales.
Unfortunately, this retrospective does not reveal which part of Katy Perry drove Russell Brand to divorce her. 0
***Creepy Cottage Industry***
Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
9 out of 10 demons agree it’s more convenient to kill people in a tent than people in a cabin.
Unfortunately, the couple in this horror-comedy has no sacrificial campers on their lawn.
Ash (Bruce Campbell) and his girlfriend (Denise Bixler) decide to stay at a cabin in the woods.
After settling in, Ash uncovers a recording from the previous lodger that reads from an ancient tome: Necronomicon Ex-Mortis.
Playing the passages aloud awakens an evil entity in the cabin, which then possesses Ash’s girlfriend.
Meanwhile, the daughter (Sarah Berry) of the man on the tape shows up with her research assistant, her hillbilly guides and missing pages from the book.
More a remake than a sequel, director Sam Raimi works the kinks out of his own original by infusing humour and introducing filmdom’s most revered anti-hero.
Incidentally, the easiest way to de-terrify a cabin in the woods is clear-cutting.
He’s got Haunted Cabin Fever. He’s the…
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