Be Kind, Please Rewind

He has Low Interest. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of July 27, 2012

Home is where your mortgage bill is sent. First up…

Silent House

Homeownership is scarier than marriage because with marriage you don’t have to be committed for 25 years.

However, you can always sell your home, like the family in this psychological-horror is hoping to do.

Helping her father (Adam Trese) and uncle (Eric Sheffer Stevens) renovate their summer home so they can sell it, Sarah (Elizabeth Olsen) begins to hear strange sounds.

Her suspicion that someone else is in the cottage is confirmed when her father is assaulted, and living quarters are discovered in the basement.

When her uncle returns from an errand, he too is wounded. Now it's up to Sarah to fend off the squatters, who somehow seem all too familiar.  

A remake of a Uruguayan thriller, this version delves into the same insidious scenarios. But it’s the frantic female lead that fuels this blemished yet 

beguiling chiller.

Besides, everyone knows working with your family always ends in murder.  0

ATM

Automated Teller Machines are an ideal place to get stacks of free envelopes for your Christmas Cards.

Unfortunately, the only thing the patrons in this horror movie are withdrawing are knives from their chests.

While driving his office crush (Alice Eve) home after their company’s Christmas party, David’s (Brian Geraghty) annoying co-worker (Josh Peck) insists they stop at an ATM.

When the three go to leave the ATM, they find a hooded figure in the parking lot is watching them.

Trapped in the hut, the trio try every trick they can to outwit their would-be killer.

Unfortunately, with the heat disabled and the kiosk being flooded, the survivors don’t have much time.

Filmed in Winnipeg, this high-concept thriller disintegrates once believability becomes a factor, so much so, that the surprise ending fails.

Besides, Winnipeg thugs don’t toy with their victims; they just stab you with a rusty screwdriver and run.  0

***Mind Over Splatter***

High Tension

When you die outdoors you finally get to see all of those exotic woodland creatures up-close, when they come to nibble on your carcass.

Unfortunately, the killer in this psychological-horror doesn’t leave much of his victims in his wake.

While spending the weekend at her friend Alex’s (Maïwenn) country home, Marie (Cécile de France) finds herself in a fight for her life after a serial killer (Philippe Nahon) invades the homestead.

With Alex held captive and both of her parents and brother butchered, Marie tiptoes around the killer, who is unaware of her presence.

When the slasher absconds from the crime scene, he takes Alex with him in his truck, where the knife-wielding Marie has stowed away.

Drenched in brutality, this feminist splatter-fest hacks its way to a lascivious and ludicrous twist ending.  

Incidentally, when in the country, the ideal place to hide a dead body is down an outhouse.

He’s Bucolic-y. He’s the…

Vidiot

***The Vidiot will not appear next week because he has qualified to compete in this year's Extra Special Olympics being held in London...Ontario. So cheer him on as he goes for a pewter medal in Bath Salt Fencing. Then join him back here on August 10th as he returns to dispense his trademarked brand of cyber-bullying thinly disguised as bad movie reviews.***