He’s a Slap Dancer. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of July 20, 2012
What if the prop shows but the comic doesn’t? First up…
The Three Stooges
Finally, Hollywood has produced a worthy feature film about The Three Stooges: the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.
Oops! Apparently, real-life idiots are the ones doing the eye poking in this comedy, and not members of the Godhead.
Abandoned at an orphanage, three brothers, Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos), Larry (Sean Hayes) and Curly (Will Sasso), are raised by the nuns (Jane Lynch, Jennifer Hudson, Larry David) who run it.
Years later, the incessantly sadistic triumvirate embark on a mission to make enough money to save the orphanage, after their rowdy antics made it uninsurable.
While raising the capital, the boys are unknowingly hired by a wife (Sofía Vergara) to kill her husband.
Loyal to Stooges’ brand of violent vaudevillian comedy, this version, although lacking depth, is loaded with lowbrow laughs and shovelfuls of schadenfreude.
Incidentally, with their pratfall skills, these boys could really clean up in fraudulent personal injury lawsuits. 0
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
The best thing about the sport of fishing is that you don’t even have to be alive in order to be successful at it.
And while this romantic drama doesn’t address the tedium of trolling, it does display its worldwide popularity.
Dr. Alfred Jones (Ewan McGregor), an uptight employee of the British Fisheries Department, is approached by Harriet (Emily Blunt), the liaison of a wealthy Sheikh (Amr Waked) interested in bringing salmon fishing to the Middle East.
Uninterested, Alfred declines the offer, only to be order to proceed with the project, as it is seen as an excellent gesture of peace between both countries.
Doubtful of the endeavour from conception, over time, Alfred warms to the notion, and his assistant.
Based on the popular novel, Salmon Fishing in the Yemen is an unrealistic love story with a formulaic ending that lacks bite.
Besides, shouldn’t those female salmon be wearing Burqas? 0
Friends with Kids
The unfortunate thing about modern relationships is that they can start out as Friends with Benefits but usually end up as Friends with Kids.
Fortunately, the co-ed companions in this romantic-comedy have never sleep together – until now.
When their couple-friends, Missy (Kristen Wiig), Ben (John Ham), Leslie (Maya Rudolph) and Alex (Chris O'Dowd), start having children, Jason (Adam Scott) and Julie (Jennifer Westfeldt), platonic lifelong friends, decide to have one of their own.
Opting out of a complicated relationship, the two date other people: Jason with the youth Mary Jane (Megan Fox) and Julie with a mature divorced dad (Ed Burns).
But it’s not until their arrangement is called into question that they to take their unique situation seriously.
While the pejorative overtones concerning marriage are astute, this movie’s flippant attitude towards childrearing is not.
Furthermore, this is exactly why women should only impregnate themselves with their gay friend’s sperm. 0
***Our Gangbanging***
The Little Rascals
Kids today are exactly the same as kids 50 years ago. Except the mischief that modern scamps get up today involves bullying others to kill themselves.
And while the tykes in this comedy aren’t setting up hate websites, they do enjoy tomfoolery.
The esteemed members of The He-Man Women Haters Club are dumbfounded when one of their own, Alfalfa (Bug Hall), is caught romancing Darla (Brittany Ashton Holmes).
Fearful she has bewitched their star go-kart driver, Spanky (Travis Tedford), club president, sends his affiliates, Porky (Zachary Mabry) and Buckwheat (Ross Bagley), to break them up before the big race.
Unfortunately, the new kid in town (Blake McIver Ewing) may beat them to it.
With a capricious script, apt casting and barrels of monkeyshines, this update of the comedy shorts is stupendously goofy.
Incidentally, why are these rascals running wild? Shouldn’t they be at home on the couch playing video games?
He’s been High Jinxed. He’s the…
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