He’s Immortally Wounded. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of February 10, 2012
A vampire could have a bright future as a medical leech. First up…
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1
When a woman marries a vampire she must be prepared for the unexpected, like, when the groom and his side of the family spontaneously combust inside the church.
Fortunately, the unconventional couple in this drama exchanged their vows sans God.
On the eve of her marriage to the vampire Edward (Robert Pattinson), 18-year-old Bella (Kristen Stewart) is fraught by doubt over tying the knot.
Though the ceremony is a success, a subsequent visit from Jacob (Taylor Lautner) reignites the war between werewolves and vampires, when he learns of the couple’s plan to conceive while Bella is still mortal.
As expected, her health deteriorates when her body cannot handle the rapid gestation.
The fourth installment of the popular film franchise, Breaking Dawn is a melodramatic maelstrom of weepy alt-rock love songs and nightmarish imagery of teen pregnancy.
Besides, what woman wants to simultaneously breast-feed her newborn and neck-feed her new husband? 0
Anonymous
Finally! They’ve made a film about the most prolific message poster on the Internet.
Oops! Apparently this drama isn’t about the unknown author of those profane comments on the web, but some other writer.
Due to his stature, the Earl of Oxford (Rhys Ifans) is unable to take credit for the literary works he has written over the course of his life. Instead, he selects a satirical playwright (Sebastian Armesto) to assume authorship.
While audiences are enraptured by his first play, when the writer is brought on to the stage, the Earl is shocked to learn that his hire has shirked responsibility onto an actor, Shakespeare (Rafe Spall).
Inspired by a theory suggesting Shakespeare did not pen his own plays, Anonymous takes poetic license with history, but not without raising some valid questions.
Fortunately, with Shakespeare’s authenticity in question, we can now say “Macbeth” in a theater without fear of consequence. 0
A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
It makes perfect sense that people would want to get high on marijuana during the holiday season: Christmas is pure munchie heaven.
Unfortunately, the stoners in this comedy are too wrapped up in their search for a Christmas tree to enjoy a stuffing sandwich on gingerbread.
After receiving a package addressed to his estrange chum Harold (John Cho), Kumar (Kal Penn) heads to the suburbs to return it.
However, the gift leads to the destruction of Harold’s father-in-law’s homegrown tree. Now, the duo must put aside their differences in order to find a replacement and save Harold from his in-law’s wrath.
Along the way, the pair converge with old acquaintances (Neil Patrick Harris, Eddie Kaye Thomas, David Krumholtz).
The third installment of the green-budded buddy-comedy, Harold & Kumar still have plenty of potshots in their bong to deliver the giggles.
Besides, the red-eyes that accompany smoking weed are very festive. 0
***No Holds Bard***
Shakespeare in Love
The best thing about actresses in Shakespeare’s day was that their booming baritone voices could reach the back of the theater.
And while testicles attributed to their potent projection, the woman in this drama believes she can do so without.
Deciding to take his latest play in a new direction, William Shakespeare (Joseph Fiennes) finds a muse in a male actor trying out for the role of Romeo, whom he later discovers is actually a merchant’s daughter, Viola (Gwyneth Paltrow).
However, the bard’s upcoming play and love affair are threatened by news that there is a woman in the acting troupe.
A fictional account of the real world tribulations that served to inspire Shakespeare’s most of prolific play, Shakespeare in Love is imbued with bold performances and rollicking references to the bard’s body of work.
In fact, while writing Othello, he is also rumoured to have dated a black man.
He’s a One-act Plagiarist. He's the...
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