Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s in Inhuman Resources. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of September 30, 2011

Electronic device is just a euphemism for machine. First up…

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

For humans, "dark of the moon" refers to the anus area of the person mooning.

For the transmogrifying space-creatures in this sci-fi movie, however, it means the enslavement of humanity.

When Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) learns that a ship from his home world is marooned on the moon, he helms a mission to retrieve its sole occupant, his mentor: Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy).

Unfortunately, Megatron (Hugo Weaving) and the Decepticons arrived at the wreckage years earlier and claimed the cargo – pillars to connect a spacebridge between Earth and Cybertron.

Hoping to prevent its assembly is Optimus’ human friend Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and his new squeeze (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley).

While it’s the best of the trilogy, Dark of the Moon is still a 3-hour muddle of mechanical components clanging out a cacophonous din of dumbness.

Besides, there are more important things that could’ve been recovered from the moon, like Buzz Aldrin’s wallet.  0

***The Space Waste***

The Iron Giant   

When metal falls out of the sky, it usually means a decommissioned satellite has reentered our atmosphere.

However, NASA had nothing to do with the falling space scrap in this animated-feature.

Sneaking out one night, Hogarth (Eli Marienthal) comes across a mile high automaton (Vin Diesel) that has crash-landed near his home.

Fast friends from the get-go, Hogarth invites the affable android to live in his barn, unbeknownst to his mother (Jennifer Aniston).

Later, when a government agent (Christopher McDonald) starts sniffing around, Hogarth hides his machine with an artist (Harry Connick, Jr.).

When the army shows up, however, the destructive nature of the mechanical mammoth is finally revealed, and put to the test.

An ode to 1950s sci-fi, The Iron Giant is a sturdy structure of stimulating story telling, vivid voice work and astonishing animation.

Unfortunately, thanks to oxidization, after the first rainfall, Iron Giant’s going to look more like rusted out muffler.

He's a Human-annoyed. He's the...

Vidiot