He Over Eats His Words. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of September 16, 2011
That’s it! I’m going on a diatribe. First up…
Thor
For many parts of the population, a blond-haired, hammer-wielding, Aryan hero is more akin to a villain.
Fortunately, Leni Riefenstahl didn’t direct this action movie based on the Norse God of Thunder.
After Frost Giants break into Asgard to reclaim a stolen relic, Thor (Chris Hemworth), son of Odin (Anthony Hopkins), and his warrior friends (Tadanobu Asano, Jaimie Alexander, Joshua Dallas, Ray Stevenson) retaliate.
Unfortunately, their actions break a long-standing truce. In turn, Thor’s stripped of his mighty hammer and banished to Earth.
Exiled, he develops feelings for an astrophysicist (Natalie Portman).
Meanwhile, Thor’s brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) ascends to the throne.
Based on the Marvel Comics character, Thor brilliantly bridges the gap between hubris and humanity with universal themes of brotherly betrayal in order to be applicable.
Besides, with that hammer, Thor should just do what all long-haired, earthbound, sons of a god do here, and take up carpentry. 0
X-Men: First Class
For all their complaining about equal rights, why don’t the X-Men ride back in coach with the rest of us?
And while this action movie isn’t about the economic divide on airplanes, it is about the segregation of the genetically gifted.
In 1962, the Hellfire Club (Kevin Bacon, January Jones, Jason Flemyng) puts in place a plan to expedite the Cuban Missile Crisis.
To thwart their scheme, the CIA hires mutant telepath Xavier (James McAvoy) to locate them.
But to defeat them, he and his metal-manipulating mate (Michael Fassbender) must first assemble their own team (Jennifer Lawrence, Caleb Landry Jones, Lucas Till).
While its modish modification of the Marvel Comics mutants is superior to previous installments, the friendship between the passive professor and the megalomaniac Magneto is ultimately ignored, as is comic book and film franchise continuity.
As for the worst mutant power: the ability to look like a mutant. 0
13 Assassins
The problem with thirteen assassins sent to kill one person is that, by the time it’s your turn to strike, the target’s been dead for 20 minutes.
Fortunately, the objective in this action movie has enough armed-guards to keep all of the killers content.
In Edo, the son of a former Shogun (Gorô Inagaki) terrorizes the countryside, raping and murdering at whim.
Fearing the sadistic lord will rise to a higher position, the services of an elderly samurai, Shinzaemon (Koji Yakusho), are sought.
In order to snuff out the savage noble, Shinzaemon assembles former samurais to assist him in the ambush.
Unfortunately, the anticipated 70 guardsmen turn out to be 200 strong.
Inspired by true events, 13 Assassins is a blood-soaked, myth-laden, revenge mission, heavily rooted in the bushido code of honour.
Samurais are so respectful, in fact, that disemboweled warriors will actually mop up their own guts before dying. 0
***Spandex-Men ***
Superheroes
The reason normal people don’t dress up like comic book superheroes and fight crime is because they can’t afford to copyright both their costume and their code-name.
Fortunately for the real-life masked marvels in this documentary, no one will ever want to infringe on their intellectual property.
Inspired by what they’ve seen in movies and read in comic books, a number of men and women in America have donned capes in order to thwart evil.
From Mr. Extreme–a San Diego superhero who sleeps in his van–to Master Legend–a Floridian crime-fighter who frequents bars in his costume–hometown heroes are rampant.
There is even a collective: Team Justice, who stage nightly stings in an attempt to keep the streets safe.
Frightening, engaging and uproarious, HBO’s Superheroes is an uncanny viewing experience.
Now, if we can only get rapists to wear elaborate stage make-up, we’ll have our super villains.
He's a Dweeb Dealer. He’s the...
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