He’s a Guacamole Diplomat. He's the...
Vidiot
Week of November 23, 2018
My favourite dish is Americanized ethnic
food. First up...
Crazy Rich Asians
The easiest way to distinguish between rich
and poor Asians is the wealthy ones wear gold-plated surgical masks.
Mind you, as this romantic-comedy points
out, well-heeled Asians can also be extremely rude.
Rachel (Constance Wu) agrees to attend her
boyfriend Nick’s (Henry Golding) friend’s wedding in Singapore. During their
visit, Rachel is introduced to Nick’s well-to-do relatives (Gemma Chan,
Awkwafina, Ken Jeong), whom she gets along with swimmingly. However, the
matriarch of the family (Michelle Yeoh) feels that Rachel is not the right fit
for her son, while others accuse her of being a gold-digger.
Although it does shatter stereotypes with
its all-Asian cast and enamors with the pageantry associated with Asian
nuptials, this aptly cast adaptation of the 2013 best-seller does little to
differentiate itself from the typical Caucasian rom-com formula.
In fact, the only difference between Asian
and Caucasian families is that the former doesn’t banish their elders. Yellow Light
Little Italy
The single greatest contribution Italian
cuisine has made to Western civilization is heartburn.
However, this romantic-comedy maintains
that pizza is a much better offering than indigestion.
When her work visa expires, culinary
student Nikki (Emma Roberts) must return to Toronto. While her family (Alyssa
Milano, Adam Ferrara) is happy to see her, their pizza business has been
suffering ever since they had a spat with their partner and his son, Leo
(Hayden Christensen).
As the former friends feud, Leo and Nikki
form a relationship that will force both parties to make amends, and update
their menus.
Brimming with bad Italian stereotypes and
even worse acting, this American/Canadian co-production is better left in the
oven. Although it borrows from Romeo and Juliet, the leads lack the chemistry
to dethrone the star-crossed lovers.
Incidentally, if Leo plans on marrying
Nikki he’s going to have to get a divorce from his mamma first. Red Light
Outlaw King
The key to being a great Scottish King is
making sure your Queen’s woollen fleece is sheared every summer.
However, the ruler in this drama has broken
from tradition and married a human.
In the wake of William Wallace’s execution,
Scottish King Robert the Bruce (Chris Pine) plots a rebellion against the
monarchy. But when an Englishman overhears his plans, Robert has no choice but
to slay them. This murderous act incites England to declare Robert, his new
wife (Florence Pugh) and their allies (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Tony Curran)
outlaws.
While this historical Netflix film plays
fast-and-loose with the facts, the overall experience is a visceral one backed
by gory battle scenes, stirring speeches and convincing portrayals. In fact, it
stands as the best feature the streaming service has produced thus far.
However, it would’ve been easier to get the
British out of Scotland by staging a Robert Burns poetry reading. Green Light
***My Verona***
Pizza My Heart
While it’s not widely known, Christopher
Columbus’ voyage to America was initially a pizza delivery.
And while that factoid has been lost to
history, this comedy assures America’s obsession with pizza hasn’t.
In fair Verona, New Jersey is where we lay
our scene: two families, The Prestolanis (Michael Badalucco, Natalija Nogulich)
and The Montebellos (Dan Hedaya, Gina Hecht), war with each other over who
sells the best pie in town. But their long-standing feud is about to be turned
on its head when Gina. (Shiri Appleby) falls in love with her sworn enemy Joe.
(Eyal Podell). The lovers must now bring peace to their pizzerias.
ABC Family’s modern retelling of
Shakespeare’s tragedy, this 2005 movie-of-the-week is a goofy but guilty
pleasure that tones down the calamity of the play and gives way to zaniness.
Lastly, when ordering from a Romeo and
Juliet themed pizzeria, get them to hold the poison.
He’s Bard Wire. He’s the...
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