Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Meatball Subspecies. He’s the…

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Week of November 16, 2018

Every dog has its day…in court.  First up…

The Meg

Every time a scientist discovers a new species it means we get to eradicate an old one.

However, considering the size of the specimen in this action-thriller we should exterminate four.

A billionaire (Rainn Wilson) recruits an underwater research team to probe Marianas Trench for untold riches. But an encounter with a Megalodon leaves his oceanographer (Li Bingbing) and her crew stranded down there. Now, it is up to covert naval officer Jonas Taylor  (Jason Statham) to reach the submersible without being swallowed by the gigantic jaws of the prehistoric predator.

Spending way too much time on a superfluous love story, this American-Chinese adaptation of the 1997 novel is surprisingly boring for a giant shark movie. It doesn’t help that the bulk of the man vs. animal action occurs at the very end.

Besides, the easiest way to kill a megalodon is to steer them towards that floating garbage patch.  Red Light

Alpha

The best way to get your dog to respect you is to stop picking up its poop.

And this action-adventure set in a time when dog scat was everywhere reaffirms that statement.

Left for dead by his Stone Age tribe after tumbling off a cliff during his first bison hunt, a broken Keda (Kodi Smit-McPhee) must now find his way back home.

However, the elements and the hungry prehistoric predators make his quest near impossible. That is until he nurses an injured wolf back to health and befriends it. The unlikely pair then braves the rough terrain together, forging the basis of our species’ cohabitation.

While the history behind this initial dog tale is debatable, the action, the acting, and the cinematography make up for the simplistic storyline, strange subtitles and historical inaccuracies.

Moreover, it is proof positive that dogs do not require designer coats and boots to survive winter.  Green Light

 

Mile 22

The hardest part of working for a clandestine organization is getting them to believe that you work there every morning.

Fortunately, the top-secret team leader in this action-thriller is not easily forgotten.

Labeled a violent offender at a young age, James (Mark Wahlberg) had to learn to control his anger and channel his aggression into something useful, like heading up a covert black ops team (John Malkovich, Lauren Cohan, Ronda Rousey) tasked with keeping a radioactive chemical from being weaponized by terrorists. But in order to do that James must help an Indonesian police officer (Iko Uwais) in possession of the substance flee from authorities.

While it’s loaded with shoot-outs, car chases and choreographed fights, this spy thriller is light on espionage. Meanwhile, Iko Uwais’ martial art talents are adversely affected by the hurried editing.

Incidentally, the only way to escape Indonesia undetected is disguising yourself as a Komodo dragon.  Yellow Light

***She-Wolf Pack***

The Journey of Natty Gann

The bond between dogs and women took longer because wolves wouldn’t get into designer purses.

Mind you, the tomboy in this adventure is more likely to be carrying around a bindle.

When Sol (Ray Wise) finds work in the forests of Washington State during the Great Depression, he leaves his 15-year-old daughter Natty (Meredith Salenger) behind in Chicago until he can send for her. But when her guardian sells her out to family services, Natty must ride the rails to find her father. Along the way she befriends a wolf and fellow hobo (John Cusack), who teaches her how to survive life on the road.

Besides an authentic depiction of life during the depression, this live-action Disney movie from 1985 also has a touching story about a girl and her wolf that will resonate with animal lovers.

In fact, wolves still make excellent travel companions for women of any age.

He’s a Poisonous Animal Lover. He’s the…

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