Be Kind, Please Rewind

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Vidiot

Week of August 10, 2018

Auto-biographies write themselves. First up...

Book Club

When hosting a book club for 60-year olds you must remember to get copies of the novel in large print.

However, the ladies in this comedy are more interested in gabbing about their sex lives.

At their most recent gathering, millionaire Vivian (Jane Fonda), widow Diane (Diane Keaton), divorcee Sharon (Candice Bergen) and housewife Carol (Mary Steenburgen) undertake the erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey as their next reading conquest.

Over the next 30-days each woman rediscovers her sexuality: Vivian reconnects with an old flame (Don Johnson), Diane meets a pilot (Andy García), Sharon online dates and Carol resuscitates her husband’s (Craig T. Nelson) libido. 

Handcrafted for the aging baby-boomers, this star-studded study of sex over a certain age is relevant and surely relatable. However, the jokes used to convey this significance are not that humorous.

Moreover, finding love as a senior nowadays is easier than finding your reading glasses. Yellow Light

Life of the Party

The upside to going back to school when you’re older is that you can get up early for class now.

However, the co-ed in this comedy isn’t doing much sleeping in her dorm room.

After her husband leaves her, suburban mom Deanna (Melissa McCarthy) decides to enroll in the same university as her daughter, and get that archaeology degree that eluded her years ago.

In-between partying, sleeping with her daughter’s friends, Deanna must prepare for an important oral presentation. But Deanna’s actions may cost her daughter her future.

Although the cast is capable, the script by McCarthy and her husband – who also directs - is devoid of laughs and adversities beyond a fear of public speaking. In fact, most scenes appear to be improvised by the actors but not in a pleasing or productive way.

Another good thing about being a mature student is that everyone assumes you’re a professor.  Red Light

Breaking in

When you’re an action movie heroine you can defeat your enemy by simply breastfeeding in front of them.

Unfortunately, the children in this thriller are way too old to be nursed.

When her wealthy father passes and leaves her the family estate, Shaun (Gabrielle Union) and her two kids venture to the isolated manor to prep it for sale.

But when she arrives Shaun discovers four criminals trying to crack open her father’s safe for the $4M inside. To save herself and her kids, Shaun must now use her wits and the home’s remote-controlled security system to stay one step ahead.

From its feeble villain to its one-dimensional hero and the ridiculous dialogue exchanged between them, this straightforward home invasion attempts to make single motherhood badass but it just turns out bad.

However, the nice thing about battling against a mother is she’ll pause the fight so everyone can hydrate.  Red Light

***Based on a Book Club***

The Joy Luck Club

The upside to playing games with your parents is they give you longer to pay your debts before breaking your legs.

Mind you, the mothers in this drama aren’t the kind to offer their children such leniencies.

June (Ming-Na Wen) takes up her deceased mother’s position at a weekly mah-jong game where she finds herself privy to the heartbreaking back-stories of each of the elderly players (Tsai Chin, France Nuyen, Lisa Lu).

As the group plays the tile-based game, the other daughters of the players deal with their own anxieties as a result of their stern upbringings in America.

Offering a disquieting glimpse at the lengths that these women had to endure to give their offspring a better life, this 1993 adaptation of Amy Tan’s bestseller flawlessly captures the intensity, turmoil and tenderness of this moving mother/daughter tale.

Moreover, old people reminiscing during game play allows for some epic cheating.

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