He has Toxic Shock Value. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of August 24, 2018
Toilet lips sink censorships. First up…
Deadpool 2
The upside to regenerative superpowers is
that you can finally work that threshing machine without fear of amputation.
Mind you, the immortal in this
action-comedy chose a cooler profession than farmhand.
After losing someone close to him, the mouthy
mercenary Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) finds solace in a young mutant whom he takes
under his wing. When a cybernetic mutant (Josh Brolin) travels back through
time to kill his protégé for his future crimes, DP must assemble a super-team
(Zazie Beetz, Bill Skarsgård, Terry Crews) to protect his partner. But can
Deadpool also keep his sidekick from fulfilling his destiny?
While the overall plot to this obligatory
sequel is simplistic, the final product is overstuffed with overdone action
sequences, endless cameos and gags that miss the mark. Although the new
characters are commendable, they lack depth and screen time.
Fortunately, once mutants start messing
with timelines we all get new hairstyles.
Yellow Light
RBG
Being an impartial judge means you can look
beyond the wet T-shirt and see the person wearing it.
Unfortunately, sexist bar contests are
absent from this documentary on arbitrating.
A staunch defending of equal rights, Ruth
Bader Ginsburg made a name for herself early on working cases concerning
discrimination against women in the military and equal social benefits for single
fathers.
Her social crusading, and tenure as a tax attorney, made her the ideal
candidate for then-President Bill Clinton’s Supreme Court Justice appointment.
Since then, RBG has gone on to become a feminist icon.
While it certainly provides an informative
overview of RBG’s illustrious career on the bench, it is her personal life,
specifically with the moments involving her late husband that truly captures
the humour and spirit of this feisty humanitarian.
Incidentally, once women were on the
Supreme Court male justices had to start wearing clothes under their
robes. Green Light
Like Father
The downside to a honeymoon on a boat is
that the sex usually involves a Roman shower.
Luckily, the bride in this comedy is
honeymooning with her estranged father.
After workaholic Rachel (Kristen Bell) is
jilted at the church she drowns her misery in a booze-fuelled night out with
her deadbeat dad (Kelsey Grammer), who she hasn’t seen in years. Under the
influence of alcohol, she decides to take her honeymoon cruise. But instead of
going alone she invites her parent.
After some chopping waters, the pair soon
bond over karaoke. Rachel even finds a new love interest (Seth Rogan).
Distributed by Netflix, this debut film
from Seth Rogan’s wife, Lauren Miller, is a joyless family reunion void of
laughs. When it’s not moonlighting as a movie-of-the-week, it’s serving as a
paid advertisement for Royal Caribbean Cruises.
Besides, the only cruise line that really
caters to incestuous marriages is Carnival.
Red Light
***Cruise Director's Cut***
Juggernaut
Terrorists rarely take cruise ships hostage
because governments don’t pay ransom on people who take cruises.
Back in the 1970s, however, commandeering
cruise ships, like the one in this thriller, was commonplace.
Passengers on the SS Britannic are thrown
into peril when a terrorist named Juggernaut informs the ship’s owner (Ian
Holm) that there are explosives onboard set to detonate if he doesn’t receive a
healthy ransom.
Meanwhile, a bomb specialist (Richard
Harris) is airlifted in to defuse the situation, while a Scotland Yard
detective (Anthony Hopkins) works on tracking down the mad bomber.
Light on Hollywood theatrics due to its
British production, this fictional account of a real life event that turned out
to be a ruse is grounded and gritty in its storytelling. The classically
trained cast also brings a high-level of professionalism to the crisis.
Thankfully, the onboard entertainment tends
to get a lot better under terrorism.
He's a Death Rowboat. He's the...
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