He's a Cesspool Boy. He's the...
Vidiot
Week of June 22, 2018
The swimming pool is not your bidet. First
up...
Pacific Rim Uprising
The reason giant robots aren’t currently in
use is because scientists have yet to figure out how to have sex with them
without being crushed.
Conversely, the mechas in this sci-fi movie
are used for humanities other fixation: war.
Years after his father impeded the first
Kaiju attack, Jake (John Boyega) reluctantly agrees to train a new generation
of Jaeger pilots alongside his old partner (Scott Eastwood) when a new breed of
hybrid monster shows up. Meanwhile, scientists (Charlie Day, Burn Gorman) struggle
to understand their enemy’s newfound abilities that seem to thwart the Jaegars
at every turn.
Trading in most of the original cast and
visionary writer/director for younger more diverse actors and an upstart
director, this studio sequel mishandles creator Guillermo del Toro’s vision by
minimizing the larger human themes for more mindless metal melees.
Moreover, monsters aren’t the main
adversaries of giant robots, cross-border steel tariffs are. Yellow Light
I Can Only Imagine
The difference between rock and Christian
rock is when the latter’s albums are played backwards the subliminal message
asks for monetary donations.
However, the only hidden meaning the
evangelical singer in this drama preaches is love thy father.
Born into a broke home headed by his
abusive father (Dennis Quaid), Bart (J. Michael Finley) found solace in a
Christian summer camp when he was younger. In school he finds comfort in music
class where his singing voice sets him apart.
Bart’s ballads eventually garner interest from Amy Grant (Nicole
DuPort). But before he can pursue his dreams Bart must make amends with his
dying father.
Featuring better production values than
most faith based films this adaptation of Bart Millard’s real life hit song does
feature a universal message of forgiveness. However, the acting and the
dialogue are still extremely hokey.
Incidentally, Christian rock band tour
buses can drive on water. Yellow
Light
***AM Radioactive***
The Cyclops
The upside to being 50-feet tall is you can
make money just by standing outside car dealerships waving.
However, the mutated features of the
colossus in this horror movie might scare off customers.
When Susan’s (Gloria Talbott) test pilot
boyfriend Bruce (Duncan Parkin) crashes over a mysterious area of Mexico, she
hires a pilot (Tom Drake) to take her, a scientist (James Craig) she just met
and a shady mining consultant (Lon Chaney Jr.) to the cursed region where
gargantuan creatures are rumoured to dwell.
Unfortunately Susan’s rescue party is more
interested in harvesting the radium that turned Bruce into a mindless Cyclops
than in helping her subdue him.
Just one of many radioactive giant B-movies
released in the 1950s, what sets this black-and-white jungle adventure apart is
the Cyclops’ unforgettable design and Lon Chaney’s drunken performance.
Incidentally, a thoughtful gift for a giant
is a hot air balloon poncho.
He's a Cycloptometrist. He's the....
Vidiot
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