His Days are Odd Numbered. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of April 6, 2018
Death is just a reboot. First up…
Insidious: The Last Key
Scientists have concluded that monsters
live underneath beds because they drink kid pee.
Fortunately, the fiend in this horror movie
feeds off of fear, not tinkle.
When medium Elise (Lin Shaye) agrees to
help the new owner of her ancestral home get rid of the evil spirits within,
she takes the opportunity to reconnect with her estranged brother (Bruce
Davison) and family.
But when a creature called Key Face captures
Elise’s niece’s soul to feed upon, she must travel to the astral plane to
reclaim it, and destroy the entity that has hounded her family for years.
While this prequel, and fourth installment
in the metaphysical franchise, ties nicely into the original movie, the
mystical realm concept has definitely run its course. What’s more, the
key-centric villain is utterly laughable, while the scares are predictable.
Besides, this lady should just be thankful
that her childhood home hasn’t become an infill. Red Light
Proud Mary
You don’t see many hitwomen around because
they refuse to kill anyone who is cute.
Luckily, the button lady in this action
movie only has ugly marks to eliminate.
When contract killer Mary (Taraji P.
Henson) takes in an underage hustler, she is forced to kill his connected boss
in order to gain his freedom. But when Mary’s boss (Danny Glover) is blamed for
the hit, it sets off a turf war with Mary and her ward caught in the middle.
Meanwhile, Mary’s unexplained guilt towards the child becomes clearer as the
bodies pile up.
Although it harkens back to the violence of
the 1970s Blaxploitation genre, this modernization of those urban actioneers
lacks their social conscience. Instead, this is just a muddled mess with highly
improbable action scenes, lackluster dialogue and a clawless performance from
Henson.
Incidentally, female assassins would be
more successful if they stopped sending condolence cards. Red Light
***Jive Turkey Sandwich***
Coffy
Today, the only way to tell if a woman is
mad is if she is constantly rolling her eyes.
In the 1970s, however, angry women, like
the one in this action movie, carried a shotgun.
Already sick of the filth corrupting her
city and filling her OR, nurse Coffy (Pam Grier) hits her boiling point when
her sister ends up in the morgue due to an overdose.
Posing as a prostitute, Coffy positions
herself next to drug dealers, pimps and the mafia, whom she pits against one
another in a series of strategic hits. But things get tricky when she learns
her congressman boyfriend is dirty.
With an anti-drug message to accompany its
seedy characters, corrupt authorities and brutal violence, Coffy adheres to
Blaxploitation themes, but also blazes an entirely different path by having a
strong black female impose the social justice.
Nevertheless, vigilantes are more
successful without platform shoes.
He’s a Bellbottom-Feeder. He’s the…
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