Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Laughingstock Broker. He’s the…

Vidiot 

Week of February 9, 2018

Save $10 a day and in 10 years you can lend me $10,000. First up…

  
A Bad Moms Christmas

Motherhood is the only career in which your co-workers can piddle on you and not be fired.
  
That must be why the moms in this comedy have so much pent up anger.

Unconventional moms Amy (Mila Kunis), Kiki (Kristen Bell) and Carla (Kathryn Hahn) have the holiday’s cut out for them when their mothers (Christine Baranski, Cheryl Hines, Susan Sarandon) show up for Christmas.

Now Amy and her band of bad moms must put the opinionated grandparents in their place and regain their matriarchal dominance over Christmas.

The superfluous follow-up to the dismal original, this seasonal sequel is every bit as wretched as its predecessor, and then some. With a script penned by males, the all-female cast stumbles on the juvenile dialogue and lewd situations they’re one-dimensional characters are thrust into.    

Furthermore, any mother who doesn’t buy their child exactly what they want for Christmas is a textbook bad mom.  Red Light


Suburbicon     

Motherhood in the 1950s was more productive because you were free to spank any child you wanted.

Unfortunately, the mother in this dark-comedy is the one who ends up battered.

Suburbanite Gardner (Matt Damon) hires two thugs to invade his home and murder his wife so that his sister-in-law (Julianne Moore) can live with him and his son Nicky. But when Nicky fingers his mom’s murderers in a police lineup, Gardner’s plan to collect his wife’s life insurance to pay the hoods goes awry.

Meanwhile, their all-white suburb is upended when an African-American family moves in next-door.

A laughless comedy and toothless crime-thriller wrapped in preachy commentary on race relations, this social satire written by the Coen Brothers but directed by George Clooney tries to be too many righteous things at once that it fails spectacularly at all.

Incidentally, suburbs today are filled with all-races dumb enough to live there.  Red Light

 

Only the Brave

The key to preventing forest fires from ever occurring is killing every cigarette smoker.

Luckily, cancer will take care of them, while the firefighters in this drama extinguish their handiwork.

Aggravated that he and his first responders (Miles Teller, Taylor Kitsch, James Badge Dale) are relegated to the rear whenever out-of-State Hotshot fire crews show up and start delegating during a blaze, superintendent Eric Marsh (Josh Brolin) petitions the mayor to let him train his own elite team of frontline firefighters.

But when the upstart squadron faces off against an uncontrollable wildfire on Yarnell Hill, their mettle is truly tested.

Based on the GQ magazine article of the tragic 2013 fire that claimed 19 lives, this retelling brings personality to those who fell. And while the dialogue is a tad melodramatic, the visuals and the emotions are palpable.

Nevertheless, a spontaneous wildfire is still a good excuse to burn your garbage.  Green Light
  
***Black and White Picket Fence***


Pleasantville 

The worst part about being a 1950s housewife was making your bed. Then making your husbands.

Mind you, the post-war married couple in this dramedy would enjoy having separate bunks.

During a TV marathon of the black-and-white sitcom Pleasantville, high school loser David (Tobey Maguire) and his much cooler twin sister Jennifer (Reese Witherspoon) are magically transported from the free-spirited 1990s to the uptight 1950s.

As the siblings navigate their black-and-white surroundings their liberated attitude affects everyone in town, including their sexually repressed parents (Joan Allen, William H. Macy). But as coitus turns townsfolk Technicolor, it begets segregation.

A humorous yet powerful allegory on race relations and sexual orientation, this underrated box-office flop from 1998 manages to deliver an array of impactful social messages without getting lost in the science or absurdity of its high concept premise.   

Incidentally, living inside of a 1950s TV set would give you radiation poisoning.

He’s a Soda Jerkoff. He’s the…

Vidiot










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