He’s a Laughingstock Broker. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of February 9, 2018
Save $10 a day and in 10 years you can lend
me $10,000. First up…
A Bad Moms Christmas
Motherhood is the only career in which your
co-workers can piddle on you and not be fired.
That must be why the moms in this comedy
have so much pent up anger.
Unconventional moms Amy (Mila Kunis), Kiki
(Kristen Bell) and Carla (Kathryn Hahn) have the holiday’s cut out for them
when their mothers (Christine Baranski, Cheryl Hines, Susan Sarandon) show up
for Christmas.
Now Amy and her band of bad moms must put
the opinionated grandparents in their place and regain their matriarchal
dominance over Christmas.
The superfluous follow-up to the dismal
original, this seasonal sequel is every bit as wretched as its predecessor, and
then some. With a script penned by males, the all-female cast stumbles on the
juvenile dialogue and lewd situations they’re one-dimensional characters are
thrust into.
Furthermore, any mother who doesn’t buy
their child exactly what they want for Christmas is a textbook bad mom. Red Light
Suburbicon
Motherhood in the 1950s was more productive
because you were free to spank any child you wanted.
Unfortunately, the mother in this
dark-comedy is the one who ends up battered.
Suburbanite Gardner (Matt Damon) hires two
thugs to invade his home and murder his wife so that his sister-in-law
(Julianne Moore) can live with him and his son Nicky. But when Nicky fingers
his mom’s murderers in a police lineup, Gardner’s plan to collect his wife’s
life insurance to pay the hoods goes awry.
Meanwhile, their all-white suburb is
upended when an African-American family moves in next-door.
A laughless comedy and toothless
crime-thriller wrapped in preachy commentary on race relations, this social
satire written by the Coen Brothers but directed by George Clooney tries to be
too many righteous things at once that it fails spectacularly at all.
Incidentally, suburbs today are filled with
all-races dumb enough to live there. Red
Light
Only the Brave
The key to preventing forest fires from
ever occurring is killing every cigarette smoker.
Luckily, cancer will take care of them,
while the firefighters in this drama extinguish their handiwork.
Aggravated that he and his first responders
(Miles Teller, Taylor Kitsch, James Badge Dale) are relegated to the rear
whenever out-of-State Hotshot fire crews show up and start delegating during a
blaze, superintendent Eric Marsh (Josh Brolin) petitions the mayor to let him
train his own elite team of frontline firefighters.
But when the upstart squadron faces off
against an uncontrollable wildfire on Yarnell Hill, their mettle is truly
tested.
Based on the GQ magazine article of the
tragic 2013 fire that claimed 19 lives, this retelling brings personality to
those who fell. And while the dialogue is a tad melodramatic, the visuals and
the emotions are palpable.
Nevertheless, a spontaneous wildfire is
still a good excuse to burn your garbage.
Green Light
***Black and White Picket Fence***
Pleasantville
The worst part about being a 1950s
housewife was making your bed. Then making your husbands.
Mind you, the post-war married couple in
this dramedy would enjoy having separate bunks.
During a TV marathon of the black-and-white
sitcom Pleasantville, high school loser David (Tobey Maguire) and his much
cooler twin sister Jennifer (Reese Witherspoon) are magically transported from
the free-spirited 1990s to the uptight 1950s.
As the siblings navigate their
black-and-white surroundings their liberated attitude affects everyone in town,
including their sexually repressed parents (Joan Allen, William H. Macy). But
as coitus turns townsfolk Technicolor, it begets segregation.
A humorous yet powerful allegory on race
relations and sexual orientation, this underrated box-office flop from 1998
manages to deliver an array of impactful social messages without getting lost
in the science or absurdity of its high concept premise.
Incidentally, living inside of a 1950s TV
set would give you radiation poisoning.
He’s a Soda Jerkoff. He’s the…
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