He’s a Slapstick Handler. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of January 12, 2018
Physical comedy is only funny when the
concussions are real. First up…
It
The public is afraid of clowns because they
don’t want to have to eat a Big Mac.
Thankfully, the mischief-maker in this
horror movie is not a corporate mascot.
The summer after his brother vanished down
a storm drain, Bill (Jaeden Lieberher) and his friends (Finn Wolfhard, Wyatt
Oleff, Jack Dylan Grazer) head out in search of the body. Along the way they
recruit more members (Sophia Lillis, Jeremy Ray Taylor, Chosen Jacobs) with
knowledge of the town’s missing child epidemic.
The gang eventually links the
disappearances to a demonic clown (Bill Skarsgård) living in the sewer system.
The first feature film adaptation of
Stephen King’s infamous jester Pennywise, newcomer Skarsgård nails the creepy
clown, making the scary moments even more so. Condensed compared to the 1990
miniseries, this streamlined version is a flawless fright-fest.
Incidentally, the only one powerful enough
to defeat an evil clown is a kid’s party magician. Green Light
Bright
If magic were real than sawing someone in
half would not end in a jail sentence.
Fortunately, the alternate earth in this
action-fantasy has seen a recent increase in enchantment.
In a world where Tolkien-type creatures
live in harmony alongside humanity, LAPD officer Ward (Will Smith) and his
Orkish partner Jakoby (Joel Edgerton) are tasked with maintaining that delicate
balance. But an elf (Lucy Fry) with a magic wand being sought by a dark elf
(Noomi Rapace) - intent on reviving the Dark Lord - threatens that harmony.
Now, the odd couple must protect the girl
and the wish-granting wand whilst battling their own demons.
A paint-by-numbers buddy-picture, Netflix’s
first foray into blockbuster territory is a tepid one. While the concept is
serviceable, the racial comparisons are bordering on offensive. Moreover, the
action, dialogue and character designs are all questionable.
Worse, the Orc’s rap album sold more than
Will Smith’s last one. Red Light
***Wand Robbery***
Witch Hunt
In a world where magic is real puffy shirts
and sequin pants are acceptable apparel.
Nevertheless, the 1950s detective in this
fantasy-thriller plays to stereotype.
Set in an alternate reality where magic is
an every day occurrence and horror movie monsters walk among us, an overzealous
senator (Eric Bogosian) holds McCarthyesque trials on magic use in Hollywood.
While working on a case for the wife
(Penelope Ann Miller) of a murdered movie mogul, magic abstaining private
investigator Lovecraft (Denis Hopper) becomes embroiled in the senator’s witch
hunts when he employs a seerer for the case who is later sentenced to death by
the commission.
Hardboiled scribe Paul Schrader’s follow-up
to HBO’s Cast a Deadly Spell, this red scare allegory is a worthy successor to
the 1991 made for cable movie, despite its recasting and altering of the main
character’s retcon.
However, any attempt to use magic in the
real world would be halted by J.K. Rowling’s lawyers.
He’s a Scry Baby. He’s the…
Vidiot
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