Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Poppet Master. He’s the…

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Week of February 10, 2017

Kids only play with toys when their phones die. First up…

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Trolls

Troll Dolls were only fun to play with as a kid when you had a bag of firecrackers.

And while none of the imps in this animated-musical explode, they do sparkle.

When the troll princess (Anna Kendrick) celebrates her tiny touchy feely tribes (Russell Brand, James Corden, Gwen Stefani) liberation from the unemotional Bergens 20 years ago, their singing and dancing attracts their former captors.

Now, her eternally optimistic highness must work alongside naysayer troll Branch (Justin Timberlake) in order to save her subjects from becoming dinner.

Glamming up an ugly chambermaid (Zooey Deschanel), the trolls set out to seduce the Bergen king (Christopher Mintz-Plasse).

Butchering an array of classic songs that kids will no doubt accredit to this saccharine adaptation of the wild haired figurines, Trolls’ boilerplate storyline and Smurf-like characterization is the opposite of its somewhat inventive animation.

Incidentally, trolls actually live under bridges and eat suicide jumpers.  Red Light

 

Queen of Katwe   

The reason women don’t play chess is because all of the pieces resemble penises.

Fortunately, the female in this drama is unafraid of the phallic looking bits.

Raised by her single mother (Lupita Nyong'o) in the abject poverty of Katwe, Uganda along side her brothers and sisters, 10-year-old Phiona Mutesi (Madina Nalwanga) doesn’t have much of a future beyond selling her body.

That is until she meets Robert Katende (David Oyelowo), a soccer coach who teaches chess to his players on the side. Intrigued, Phiona joins his club where she proves a phenom and fierce competitor.

As her matches take her further from the slums, she finds more to life than Katwe.

The powerful and inspiring depiction of the real-life chess champion, this Disney adaption of an ESPN magazine article on Phiona is a true underdog movie with vibrant performances from its leads that help transcend the film’s more formulaic moments.

Moreover, it’s good for the male chess players to meet a real-life female.  Green Light

***Queen of Bee***

Akeelah and the Bee

With Michelle Obama out of office, the only strong black woman African American girls have to look up to now is Madea.

Thankfully, the phenom in this drama became her on role model.

With a knack for spelling, but a bad attitude keeping her from getting proper instruction, Akeelah (Keke Palmer) struggles to make it through competition. 

With no encouragement from her single mother (Angela Bassett), she takes it upon herself to study and seek out a coach (Laurence Fishburne) who can help get her to the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

Although it’s a fictional account, this underdog tale is rooted in the short-lived spelling bee craze of the early-2000s. With Fine performances all-around, this feel-good film turns the sport on its ear by having an impoverish child compete in an affluent after-school activity.

Best of all, the only equipment you need to compete is a pair of coke-bottle glasses.

He has a Spelling Bee Allergy. He’s the…

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