He’s a Social Cue-Card Holder. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of February 20, 2016
Man’s first nonverbal communication was the
middle finger. First up…
Steve Jobs
If it weren’t for Steve Jobs men would have
to hand deliver their dick pics.
Erroneously, this drama explores his lesser
contributions to society.
Apple Inc. co-founder Steve Jobs (Michael
Fassbender) is confronted by his Ex and her daughter, whom she claims is his,
moments before he’s set to reveal a new product before his CEO (Jeff Daniels),
investors, and the media.
While he denies paternity, he eventually
forms a friendship with her that follows him to his next company. Meanwhile,
her mother and his friends and colleagues (Kate Winslet, Seth Rogen) start to
resent his hubris and inhumanity.
With snappy, yet highly improbable,
dialogue supplied by Aaron Sorkin and kinetic clips combined with static stage
shots from director Danny Boyle, this academic adaptation of the Apple
mastermind’s memoir is laborious, pretentious, and melodramatic.
Besides, Steve Jobs isn’t dead…Apple is
just waiting to unveil their latest version of him. Red Light
Trumbo
One telltale sign a screenwriter is a
communist is they name every male lead character Sergei.
Wisely, the sympathizer in this drama used
American names in his scripts.
Accused of imbedding anti-American rhetoric
into his scripts, gossip columnist Hedda Hopper (Helen Mirren) and actor John
Wayne (David James Elliott) see that card-carrying communist Dalton Trumbo
(Bryan Cranston) is imprisoned.
Blacklisted, he must sell his post-prison
scripts to schlock producer Frank King (John Goodman) under pseudonyms, until
Kirk Douglas (Dean O'Gorman) petitions to get him credit for Spartacus.
Meanwhile, his family (Diane Lane, Elle
Fanning) suffers at the hands of his daunting schedule.
While the casting of the real-life actors
portrayed in this biography is questionable, this quirky account of Hollywood’s
red witch-hunt, and its most outspoken victim, is a fascinating and frightening
account of historical hysteria.
Scarier still, back then you had to write
movie dialogue without using the F-word.
Green Light
The Good Dinosaur
If an asteroid hadn’t wiped out the
dinosaurs than the Flintstones would have been the first reality TV show.
Instead, this family-movie reimagines that
non-extinction scenario as a cartoon.
After losing his father (Jeffrey Wright), a
naïve dinosaur named Arlo (Raymond Ochoa) is separated from his mother (Frances
McDormand) during a flood and forced to find his way back home.
En route, Arlo befriends a laconic cave-boy
he names Spot, and receives guidance from an array of prehistoric predators
(Sam Elliott, Anna Paquin, Steve Zahn) who may or may not want to eat the
travelling companions.
With unconventional character designs,
mature themes involving loss and scary scenes of animal-on-animal violence, The
Good Dinosaur is a definite departure from Pixar’s predictably upbeat output.
Unfortunately, none of these new elements
help make this black sheep a classic.
On the bright side, if dinosaurs had
survived we’d all be wearing Velociraptor leather coats. Yellow Light
***Hollyrock Gossip***
The Flintstones
Contrary to popular belief, the Paleo Diet
is more than consuming a bottle of Flintstone vitamins for every meal.
Thankfully, this comedy will give dieters
greater insight into what cave-people ate.
When blue-collar Fred (John Goodman) is
accused of embezzling by his boss (Kyle MacLachlan) and his assistant (Halle
Berry), he’s not only in trouble with the law, but also his wife (Elizabeth
Perkins) and mother-in-law (Elizabeth Taylor).
Meanwhile, his neighbors Barney (Rick
Moranis) and Betty (Rosie O'Donnell) hope to adopt a cave-boy with Fred’s
financial help.
While it does an adequate job of mimicking
its inspiration for loyalists, this tepid 1994 live-action adaption of the
1960s primetime cartoon does an inadequate job of updating Fred’s dilemmas to
appeal to younger fans unfamiliar with his stone-age antics.
That’s because kids today cannot relate to
when prehistoric birds had to etch your dick pic onto slate before you could
text it.
He’s a Man-Cave-Man. He’s the…
Vidiot
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