He's a Cold Warmonger. He's the...
Vidiot
Week of November 20, 2015
The laziest spy agency name is
A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. First up...
The Man from U.N.C.L.E
The most important thing about being a spy
is telling your dentist about your cyanide-filled false tooth.
Sadly, the spies in this action movie are
too busy to maintain regular checkups.
In 1963, CIA operative Napoleon Solo (Henry
Cavill) is paired with KGB agent Illya Kuryakin (Armie Hammer) to prevent a
Nazis scientist from creating a nuclear warhead for a family of Third Reich
supporters (Luca Calvani, Elizabeth Debicki).
But to do that they must first learn to
work together, and alongside the scientist’s daughter (Alicia Vikander).
Director Guy Ritchie’s take on the sixties
spy show, this modern adaptation is anything but modern.
Existing in the same time period as its
inspiration, the mod cars, fashion and set pieces all compliment the director’s
stylized aesthetic. They also help distract from a formulaic script.
Incidentally, this marks the first time the
KGB and CIA have worked together since the Kennedy assassination. Yellow Light
No Escape
When moving your entire family to a foreign
country you should at least drive them to the airport.
However, the husband in this thriller is
actually going with his wife and kids.
Transferred to an unspecified South Asian
country to work for an engineering firm, Jack Dwyer (Owen Wilson), his wife
(Lake Bell) and daughters are in caught in a coup between locals and employees
of Jack’s company.
Fortunately, his immoral firm hired an
ex-British agent (Pierce Brosnan) to protect their interests overseas. Now he’s
helping lead the family to the safety of Vietnam.
Nothing short of xenophobic propaganda,
this fear mongering hate piece reduces the populace of a nameless Asian nation
to mindless savages for no reason other than corporate maleficence.
Ill-conceived and thoroughly preposterous,
this embarrassment gives new meaning to the term ugly American.
Besides, your children are more valuable
than any job – especially in a third world country. Red Light
We Are Your Friends
The reason EDM DJs wear headphones is so
they don’t have to listen to their own annoying music.
Conversely, the spinner in this drama
thinks his music is actually original.
Struggling dance music DJ Cole (Zac Efron)
catches the eye of a legendary beat-maker (Wes Bentley), who takes the aping
amateur under his wing and encourages him to branch out.
Immersed in his mentor’s drug addled
lifestyle, Cole starts using and disconnects from his friends. It’s not until
he sleeps with his icon’s girlfriend does Cole begin to see his tutor’s
controlling nature.
Despite its astute dissection of the
misunderstood genre as well as some truly eye-catching visual techniques, We
Are Your Friends lacks direction, believable dialogue and relatable characters.
Not to mention its after-school special
plot twist involving an overdose makes the life lessons learned seem utterly
contrived.
Furthermore, not all deaths at EDM concerts
are overdoses – some are suicides. Red
Light
***deafmau5***
It’s
All Gone Pete Tong
Any music that you need to be near-death in
order to listen to cannot be that good for you.
Mind you, it’s not the mollies that are
ailing the DJ in this dramedy, well not entirely.
Informed by his doctor that he is slowly
going deaf, cocksure DJ Frankie Wilde (Paul Kaye) refuses to listen to him,
continuing to abuse drugs and carrying on with recording his new album.
When he finally bottoms out, Frankie gets
help from a lip-reading instructor (Beatriz Batarda) who shows him how to make
music through the use of sight and touch.
A darkly humored character study of an
unlikeable jerk that also happens to be the quintessential EDM DJ movie, this
Canadian-made Independent film strikes the perfect balance between goof-ball
antics, deep-seated personal issues and a sick soundtrack.
On the bright side, as a deaf artist you no
longer have to listen criticism anymore.
He's Rock-hard of Hearing. He's the...
Vidiot
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