Thursday, November 12, 2015

Be Kind, Please Rewind

He attends Non-Alcoholics Anonymous. He’s the…

Vidiot

Week of November 13, 2015

Interventions are trespassing. First up…

Trainwreck

Female stand-up comics aren’t successful because they physically can’t stand upright as long as a man can.

Mind you, the comedienne in this romantic-comedy may just have the stamina.

As a result of her father’s (Colin Quinn) anti-monogamy teachings, sex columnist and borderline alcoholic Amy (Amy Schumer) grows up to be a party girl with many meaningless partners (John Cena, Ezra Miller).

It’s not until she interviews a sports injury doctor (Bill Hader) for the men’s magazine she writes for does she begin to question her cynical stance on monogamy.

As foulmouthed and hyper-sexual as her male comedic counterparts, the film’s writer and lead antagonist makes an indelible impact with her brand of unladylike humour.

And while the bawdy anecdotes are hit or miss, the feminine point-of-view on casual relationships is refreshing and insightful, albeit a tad long-winded.

Incidentally, without monogamy Valentine’s Day would just become a commercial money grab.  Yellow Light




Terminator Genisys

The best way to destroy a time-travelling robot is to send it back to New Year’s Eve 1999.

Unfortunately, the automaton in this sci-fi movie arrived post-Y2K.

Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney), a resistance fighter in the war against machines, is sent backwards in time to protect the mother, Sarah (Emilia Clarke), of his leader John Connor (Jason Clarke) from a killer computer (Arnold Schwarzenegger).

However, he arrives in an alternate timeline where Sarah and an aging Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) have been waiting for him to help destroy a nanotech version of John, and a deadly operating system from launching in the year 2017.

The fifth in the once classic franchise, Genisys is a retread pretending it’s not with nothing to offer besides convoluted exposition on time-travel and wooden performances from the entire cast.

Besides, robots from the future can tell us which robotic racehorses we should bet on.  Red Light

Mr. Holmes

Aging detectives likely spend most of their time detecting where they left their reading glasses.

Similarly, the senile sleuth in this drama is having trouble recollecting names.

A retired Sherlock Holmes (Ian McKellen) sets out to rectify the misconceptions his partner Watson had written about their adventures decades earlier, however, the 93-year-old can’t recall his final case, which involved a suspicious husband.

It’s not until Holmes recounts the occasion to the son of his housekeeper Mrs. Munro (Laura Linney) that the somber details of the incident become clearer to him.

Meanwhile, Holmes influence over her son begins to worry Mrs. Munro.

A vast departure from any incarnation before it, this dramatic take is very much grounded in reality.

From dementia and depression to class struggle and separating myth from fact, Mr. Holmes is ripe with pathos and powerful performances.

Furthermore, the biggest falsehood about Holmes was that he was British.  Green Light

***Holmes Less***

Without a Clue

Without the hat, pipe, and magnifying glass Sherlock Holmes looked an awful lot like Jack the Ripper.

However, this comedy about the super snoop doesn’t speak to such speculation.

Unbeknownst to the public, the character of Sherlock Holmes was a figure of Dr. Watson’s (Ben Kingsley) imagination that never existed until this very moment.

When a 5-pound banknote-printing machine goes missing, the Bank of England and the British government want Holmes on the case, and no one else.

But since he isn’t real, Watson must hire an inane actor (Michael Caine) to portray the savvy sleuth as depicted in his short stories.

A second-rate send up of the astute literary figure, this spoof shows a darker side to Watson, while adding more slapstick to Sherlock’s repertoire than fans may be comfortable with.

Furthermore, if Watson wrote the Sherlock Holmes stories than that makes Sir Arthur Conan Doyle a talentless hack.


He’s a Forensic Scientologist. He’s the…

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