Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a White Flag Burner. He’s the…

Vidiot 

Week of January 30, 2015

Surrender only after playing dead fails. First up…

Fury 

With their long cannon shafts, tanks are widely considered the penises of the battlefield.

That’s why the armoured vehicle in this action movie is crammed full of testosterone.

In the heart of occupied Germany, Sgt. Collier (Brad Pitt) and his armored tank division (Shia LaBeouf, Jason Isaacs, Michael Peña, Jon Bernthal) receive a green replacement, Norman (Logan Lerman), for their deceased gunner.

Inexperienced in both war and women, Norman’s new roommates give him a crash course as they push further inland.

But when a landmine downs their Sherman, the stubborn Sergeant refuses to abandon the tank, even with three hundred Nazis marching directly towards them.

A candid and unapologetic portrayal of life inside of a metal beast, Fury’s manly cast and machine-gun machismo works alongside its cruelty and pathos to deliver a flawed but unforgettable experience.

Incidentally, it’s rare to see this many dudes living together without a Foosball table.  Green Light

***Tanks for the Memories***

The Beast

The bad thing about owning a tank is all your friends want to borrow it when they invade a country.

However, the invading vehicle in this action movie is on loan from the Soviets.

During their invasion of Afghanistan, a Soviet tank - lead by Commander Daskal (George Dzundza) - loses its bearings following a raid on an Islamic radical village.

When pacifist Taj (Steven Bauer) finds his father murdered by the communists, he’s forced by the village to retaliate.

In pursuit, he encounters a tank crewman (Jason Patric) jettison by his crewmates (Stephen Baldwin, Don Harvey) for mutiny.

In exchange for sanctuary, the crewman must repair Taj’s anti-tank gun.

Despite little attempt at masking their American accents, the manly cast of this underrated and action-packed adaptation of the stage play manages to convey the message of mercy during wartime.

Incidentally, isn’t the national symbol of Russia an invading tank?

He’s Anti-Tank Gun-shy. He’s the…

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