Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Half-Empty Cause. He’s the…

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Week of November 21, 2014

Police states have too many donut shops. First up…

22 Jump Street

When assigning an undercover NARC to go to college, it’s best if it’s not a dog from the K-9 unit.

Fortunately, the agents allocated in this comedy are bipedal.

After failing to takedown drug czar The Ghost (Peter Stormare), Officers Jenko (Channing Tatum) and Schmidt (Jonah Hill) are busted back down to the Jump Street.

There, their Captain (Ice Cube) tasks them with taking down the supplier of a new drug killing college students.

While Jenko feels at home investigating the quarterback, an ostracized Schmidt finds solace in an art student (Amber Stevens).

With a low laugh point average, this obligatory follow-up to 21 Jump Street revels in its self-awareness to the point of annoyance.

Not nearly as clever or comedic as the original, 22 Jump Street becomes the asinine sequel it was trying to send-up.

Incidentally, undercover cops are usually the student’s bad mouthing campus security all the time. Yellow Light

Let’s Be Cops 

The key to impersonating a cop is timing your car siren to every red light.

  

Good thing the imposters in this comedy know the tricks of the trade.

When a video game designer, Justin (Damon Wayans, Jr.), and his unemployed roommate, Ryan (Jake Johnson), attend an event dressed as cops they immediately notice a difference in how they’re treated.

Adorn by women, respected by the elderly and fear by criminals, Justin and Ryan fall under the sway of the uniform’s power.

But when an overzealous Ryan uses his bogus authority to bust-up a drug czar’s (James D'Arcy) operation, his actions land him and Justin in hot water with the kingpin - and his partner (Andy García).

Despite its implausible plot, Let’s Be Cops is a surprisingly uproarious comedy, with great lead chemistry, endearing side characters and an oddly inspiring script.

As for tells: real cops don’t hold their guns sideways. Green Light            

If I Stay 

The worst thing about having to die young is living an eternity wearing nothing but oshkosh b'gosh clothing.

Luckily, the half-dead girl in this drama doesn’t shop in the kids’ section.

An aspiring cellist, Mia (Chloë Grace Moretz), is left in limbo after a car accident kills both her parents (Mireille Enos, Jamie Blackley).

Near death, Mia oversees her comatose body, as her grandfather (Stacy Keach), best friend (Liana Liberato) and on-again/off-again rock-star boyfriend Adam (Jamie Blackley) wait by her hospital bedside.

Reliving the events leading up to the collision, Mia’s post-punk parents, her dream of Julliard, and her troubled romance with the touring Adam are explored in-depth.

With its facile music factoids and obvious artistic love interest, this adaptation of the YA novel caters to weepy teen girls.

However, more discerning minds will find it a trivial idealization of death. 

Besides, a real teen’s life flashing before their eyes mostly consists of them texting.  Yellow Light

***Freeze or Whatever***

The Mod Squad

The worst part about employing young undercover cops is they binge drink at house parties and break cover.

Thankfully, the covert trio in this action movie are too busy tracking a killer to attend ragers.

Opting to work for the police in a new department instead of serving time, Julie (Claire Danes), Pete (Giovanni Ribisi) and Linc (Omar Epps) are trained in the art of infiltration by their mentor Capt. Greer (Dennis Farina).

But when Greer ends up on the wrong side of a drug lord’s gun, the motley crew must bring his killer to justice.

A slapdash adaptation of the groundbreaking counterculture cop drama from the ‘60s, this 1999 version lacks the social and political undercurrent of its source material. 

Instead, it’s a lifeless and shoddily acted knock-off - similar to the original in name only.

Besides, immature undercover officers today can’t stop posting on Twitter about being undercover. 

He’s a Down Undercover Cop. He’s the…

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