Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Beauty Sleepwalker. He’s the…

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Week of November 7, 2014

Sleep apnea masks scare off home invaders. First up…

Maleficent

The only way to wake a sleeping princess is to tell her that her trust fund has kicked in.

Waking the heiress in this fantasy, however, won’t be as easy.

When winged-fairy Maleficent (Angelina Jolie) has her feathers stripped by her boyfriend - the would-be king (Sharlto Copley) - the loss twists the good-natured nymph into a bitter sorceress.

Thus, on the birth of the King’s daughter (Elle Fanning), Maleficent curses the newborn to enter an eternal slumber on her 16th birthday - only to be awoken by true love’s kiss.

A visually stunning variant on Disney’s Sleeping Beauty adaptation, this reworking of the fable features a flawless performance from Jolie, and endless nods to its animated inspiration.

Unfortunately, the exoneration of Maleficent and the endless liberties taken with the kiss are incongruent and unwelcome.

Besides, all teenagers fall into deep sleeps when they turn 16. It’s called Mono.  Yellow Light

 

Hercules

The worst part about being a Grecian demigod is everyone automatically assuming you’re going to eat your offspring.

Fortunately, someone else murdered the half-breed’s family in this action/adventure.

Hercules (Dwayne Johnson), the legendary son of Zeus and a human woman, leads a band of mercenaries (Ian McShane, Rufus Sewell, Reece Ritchie) around Greece selling their services.

When the King of Thrace (John Hurt) requests their assistances in training his soldiers for warfare, in exchange for gold, Hercules agrees.

But the King is not as benevolent as he appears. In fact, he is in league with King Eurystheus (Joseph Fiennes), the man who killed Hercules’ children.

With kinetic action and cornball dialogue, this adaptation of the graphic novel casts aspersions on Hercules’ lineage but in doing so adds a human element to the standard strongman story.

Furthermore, the only way to prove Zeus is Hercules’ father is by going on Maury.  Yellow Light

***Twelve Labour Days***

Disney’s Hercules

If the cruel Gods of ancient Greece existed today, church attendance would be through the roof.

Thankfully rancorous deities only exist in animated movies like in this one.

Hell-bent on overthrowing his brother Zeus (Rip Torn), Hades (James Woods) plots to release the colossal Titans from their imprisonment, and storm the halls of Mount Olympus.

The only thing standing in Hades way, however, is the half-son of his adversary, Hercules (Tate Donovan), who, along with a disgruntled satyr (Danny DeVito), a mordant maiden (Susan Egan) and a flying horse, attempts to tempt the Fates.

But their friendship is tested when one of them is found to be in league with Hades.

Disney’s adaptation of the demigod, Hercules is one of the few Disney cartoon’s aimed at boys. A fact not lost in the swordplay and super-sized monsters.

Furthermore, the reason boys relate to Hercules is because they don’t know who their father is either.

He has a Demigod Complex. He's the...

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