Be Kind, Please Rewind

He’s a Dystopian Futurist. He’s the…

Vidiot 

Week of March 7, 2014

Love triangles of the future will involve at least 1 mutant. First up…

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

When you catch fire in a dystopian future, survivors don’t extinguish it but gather around your body for warmth.

Fortunately, the conflagration in this sci-fi movie is a controlled burn.

Motivated by district uprisings resulting from the game’s most-recent winners, Katniss (Jennifer Lawrence) and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson), President Snow (Donald Sutherland) announces an all-star Third Quarter Quell.

When Katniss and her mentor’s (Woody Harrelson) names are drawn, Peeta volunteers to take his position.

Meanwhile, the other tributes (Jeffrey Wright, Jena Malone, Amanda Plummer) are just as upset over their reenrollment, and conspire to topple the affluent Capitol.

The second film based on in the teen Lit series, Catching Fire is darker than its dour predecessor, but for good reason.

Tonality aside, the eclectic cast continues to grow and excel, while the seditious story starts to take root.

Incidentally, the Hunger Games are impartial, unless, of course, there’s a Russian judge.  Green Light

12 Years a Slave

Slavery in America was so bad that slaves actually wanted to move to the frozen wilderness of Canada.

Unfortunately, the slave in this drama doesn’t make it out of New Orleans.

Touring with a performing troupe, a musician from New York, Solomon Northup (Chiwetel Ejiofor), is sold into slavery - despite being a freeman.

Liquidated to a plantation owner (Benedict Cumberbatch) under the slave name Platt, Solomon shares his insight with his master.

But when a handyman (Paul Dano) starts harassing him, Platt is sold to Epps (Michael Fassbender) to keep him safe.

There, he meets Patsey (Lupita Nyong'o), whom he tries to save from the sadistic Epps.

Based on Northup’s own account, 12 Years a Slave captures the brutality of the times with brilliant performances.

However, the director’s sullen static shots can become tedious.

Incidentally, inequality continues to exist so long as black history month only has 28 days?  Green Light

***Mr. TNT***

Black Dynamite

The difference between white sticks of dynamite and black sticks of dynamite is that the black ones are longer.

But let’s leave the racial penis jokes up to this comedy shall we.   

When his brother is mysteriously killed, former CIA operative Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White) hits the streets for answers.

Eventually, the trail leads to the government, and their plan to add a chemical to a new brand of malt liquor that will shrink the junk of every African-American man. 

But Black Dynamite and his crew (Tommy Davidson, Phil Morris, Byron Minns) are unprepared for the real perpetrator behind this cultural shriveling - a cross-dressing President Richard Nixon.

Outlandish as it is hilarious, this salute to 1970s Kung Fu and blaxploitation movies pays homage to the much-maligned genres while lampooning both to a T.

Besides, if US genital size decreases, America will no longer be a threat to China.

He’s Medium Well-Endowed. He’s the…

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