He’s a Fool’s Gold Medalist. He’s the...
Vidiot
Week of February 14, 2014
Where’s the Skijoring podium? First up…
Ender’s Game
The upside to sending
children to war is you save money on smaller coffins.
Mind you, the military in
this sci-fi movie is more motivated by young people’s instinct.
Recruited by the
International Fleet to join Earth’s battle against an alien threat, 15-year-old
Ender (Asa Butterfield) is touted by Colonel Graff (Harrison Ford) and Major
Anderson (Viola Davis) as a born tactician.
The prodigy bit, however,
doesn’t sit well with the other cadets and Ender is immediately ostracized.
Eventually he makes friends
(Hailee Steinfeld, Aramis Knight, Suraj Parthasarathy) and surpasses everyone
in the anti-gravity war games.
Commanding his own squadron,
Ender must now endure one final exercise to ultimately set about his destiny.
Based on the award-winning
book, this adaptation may alter its source material but it delivers in weightless
action and provocative concepts about combat.
Furthermore, we can use that
gamer acumen to finally kill that giant barrel-tossing gorilla. Green Light
About Time
To make big bucks in time
travel bring retro furniture back to sell to deep-pocketed hipsters.
Regrettably, the transporter
in this romantic movie cannot return with bubble chairs.
On his 21st
birthday Tim’s (Domhnall Gleeson) father (Bill Nighy) tells him he has
inherited time travel abilities.
Restricted to only traversing
backwards, Tim uses his newfound powers to rectify his bumbling present until
it works in his favour.
This technique is never used
to exertion more then when he encounters Mary (Rachel McAdams).
But what happens when Tim has
a life-altering experience that he cannot alter?
A hybrid of fantasy and
romance, About Time isn’t great at conveying either genre accurately.
With an awkward-looking lead, crater-sized plot holes, and
an abortive approach to the laws of love and time travel, this twaddle is
prosaic in any epoch.
Incidentally, on a
non-time-traveling 21-year-old’s birthday, their dad usually tells them to move
out. Red
Light
The Counselor
The worst part about working
with Mexican drug cartels is that you not only have to buy a coffin for your
wife’s body but also her head.
Surprisingly, the attorney in
this thriller in under the impress he’ll need neither.
Interested in exploiting his
crooked cliental, The Counselor (Michael Fassbender) partners with an importer
(Brad Pitt) who’s in on a truckload of cocaine coming up North.
But when the girlfriend (Cameron
Diaz) of The Counselor’s friend (Javier Bardem) hijacks the shipment, The
Counselor’s wife (Penélope Cruz)
is left to pay the price.
Directed by Ridley Scott and
written by Cormac McCarthy, The Counselor is a polarizing picture to say the
least.
While most scenes feature
deeply profound dialogue laced with allegories, there are also unforgettable
scenes of strange sex and gruesome violence.
Incidentally, if lawyers
started working alongside their clients there’d be lots of lawyers exposing themselves
in the park. Yellow Light
***Space Playstation 4***
Explorers
Sending children into outer
space is a great idea because it gets them off of Earth.
However, if the kids are as
intelligent as the ones in this sci-fi movie then they can stay.
Inspired by a dream he had of
a computer circuit that would enable space flight, Ben (Ethan Hawke) approaches
his whiz kid pal Wolfgang (River Phoenix) to help build a replica.
Eventually, the pair creates
an airtight force field capable of flight and protecting them from the harsh
elements of space.
Employing another friend
(Jason Presson) to construct a spacecraft, the trio treks into the unknown
universe, discovering some harsh truths along the way.
An obvious product of its
1985 environment, this lesser known teenager space adventure has enough pseudo
science, subversive sexuality and absurdity to deserve cult status.
What’s more, since there is
no night or day in space, child labour laws do not apply.
He’s a Houston Problem Solver. He’s the…
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