Thursday, February 13, 2014

Be Kind, Please Rewind


He’s a Fool’s Gold Medalist. He’s the...

Vidiot


Week of February 14, 2014

Where’s the Skijoring podium? First up…

Ender’s Game


The upside to sending children to war is you save money on smaller coffins.

Mind you, the military in this sci-fi movie is more motivated by young people’s instinct.

Recruited by the International Fleet to join Earth’s battle against an alien threat, 15-year-old Ender (Asa Butterfield) is touted by Colonel Graff (Harrison Ford) and Major Anderson (Viola Davis) as a born tactician.

The prodigy bit, however, doesn’t sit well with the other cadets and Ender is immediately ostracized.

Eventually he makes friends (Hailee Steinfeld, Aramis Knight, Suraj Parthasarathy) and surpasses everyone in the anti-gravity war games.

Commanding his own squadron, Ender must now endure one final exercise to ultimately set about his destiny.

Based on the award-winning book, this adaptation may alter its source material but it delivers in weightless action and provocative concepts about combat.

Furthermore, we can use that gamer acumen to finally kill that giant barrel-tossing gorilla.  Green Light

About Time


To make big bucks in time travel bring retro furniture back to sell to deep-pocketed hipsters.

Regrettably, the transporter in this romantic movie cannot return with bubble chairs.

On his 21st birthday Tim’s (Domhnall Gleeson) father (Bill Nighy) tells him he has inherited time travel abilities.

Restricted to only traversing backwards, Tim uses his newfound powers to rectify his bumbling present until it works in his favour.

This technique is never used to exertion more then when he encounters Mary (Rachel McAdams).

But what happens when Tim has a life-altering experience that he cannot alter?

A hybrid of fantasy and romance, About Time isn’t great at conveying either genre accurately.

With an awkward-looking lead, crater-sized plot holes, and an abortive approach to the laws of love and time travel, this twaddle is prosaic in any epoch.

Incidentally, on a non-time-traveling 21-year-old’s birthday, their dad usually tells them to move out.  Red Light

The Counselor


The worst part about working with Mexican drug cartels is that you not only have to buy a coffin for your wife’s body but also her head.

Surprisingly, the attorney in this thriller in under the impress he’ll need neither.

Interested in exploiting his crooked cliental, The Counselor (Michael Fassbender) partners with an importer (Brad Pitt) who’s in on a truckload of cocaine coming up North.

But when the girlfriend (Cameron Diaz) of The Counselor’s friend (Javier Bardem) hijacks the shipment, The Counselor’s wife  (Penélope Cruz) is left to pay the price.

Directed by Ridley Scott and written by Cormac McCarthy, The Counselor is a polarizing picture to say the least.

While most scenes feature deeply profound dialogue laced with allegories, there are also unforgettable scenes of strange sex and gruesome violence. 

Incidentally, if lawyers started working alongside their clients there’d be lots of lawyers exposing themselves in the park.  Yellow Light

***Space Playstation 4***

Explorers


Sending children into outer space is a great idea because it gets them off of Earth.
However, if the kids are as intelligent as the ones in this sci-fi movie then they can stay.

Inspired by a dream he had of a computer circuit that would enable space flight, Ben (Ethan Hawke) approaches his whiz kid pal Wolfgang (River Phoenix) to help build a replica.

Eventually, the pair creates an airtight force field capable of flight and protecting them from the harsh elements of space.

Employing another friend (Jason Presson) to construct a spacecraft, the trio treks into the unknown universe, discovering some harsh truths along the way.

An obvious product of its 1985 environment, this lesser known teenager space adventure has enough pseudo science, subversive sexuality and absurdity to deserve cult status.

What’s more, since there is no night or day in space, child labour laws do not apply.

He’s a Houston Problem Solver. He’s the… 

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