Vidiot
Week of April 19, 2013
Nobody should be whipped without a safe-word. First up…
Django Unchained
The reason you never saw African Americans in Westerns is because the White actors were already painted Native American.
Fortunately, this modern Western allows races to portray themselves.
A German dentist (Christoph Waltz) liberates a slave named Django (Jamie Foxx) from his white captors.
In exchange, the doctor requires Django to accompany him to a slave plantation under the guise of his valet, and identify three bounties.
Proving his salt as a skip tracer, Django sets his gun sights on the sadistic owner (Leonardo DiCaprio) of his wife (Kerry Washington), and leaves a pile of white slavers in his wake.
Quentin Tarantino’s skewed view of the American Old West has not only been branded with his customary carnage and N-word laced lingo, but also an effective campaign against the country’s dark dealings.
And while white slavery may seem like retributive justice, that typically only oppresses young white women. 0
A Haunted House
When purchasing a haunted house it’s important to have your home inspector give any residing ghosts a rectal exam.
Fortunately, the new roommates in this comedy have brought their own poltergeist with them.
When Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) and Keisha (Essence Atkins) move in together, Malcolm records the events for posterity.
When strange things start happening around the house, Malcolm’s camera captures the unexplainable events.
Later, Malcolm hires a priest (Cedric the Entertainer), a psychic (Nick Swardson) and a ghost detective (David Koechner) to exercise his home of the hostile spirit, but each one is more incompetent than the other.
What’s more, the entity has taken possession of Keisha.
An anemic lampoon of hand-held horror movies, A Haunted House not only relies on racist, homophobic and sexist jokes, but humourless ones at that.
As for the best way to deal with a haunted house: Burn it down for the insurance money. 0
***Djustified***
Django
The reason why Italians made Westerns was that it was an easy way to launder money.
And while this spaghetti western doesn’t confirm mob financing, it does emulate the organization’s ruthless attributes.
Django (Franco Nero) is a drifter that drags around a casket that comes upon a Mexican woman (Loredana Nusciak) being tormented by a gang of outlaws.
Later, Django learns that the men he just killed worked for Major Jackson (Eduardo Fajardo), the man who killed Django’s wife.
Partnering with a Mexican General (José Bódalo) to steal Jackson’s gold, the bandit later betrays Django.
When the Major and his men come looking for the stolen fortune, they are privy to what lies within Django’s coffin.
While it borrows heavily from other anti-hero westerns, Django can take credit for exploiting the genre’s violence to unprecedented heights.
As for the coffin: maybe Django just has some sort of morbid ventriloquist act.
He's a Stun Gunslinger. He's the...
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