He’s a Civil Warlock. He’s the...
Vidiot
Week of October 19, 2018
I only hand-out Tide Pods for Halloween.
First up...
Ant-Man and the Wasp
The easiest way to distract someone with
the powers of a wasp is to spill a can of Coke.
Mind you, the insects in this sci-fi movie
are too determined to be diverted by refined sugar.
On house arrest since he violated the
Sokovia Accords, Scott (Paul Rudd) has been busying reconnecting with his
daughter and starting a company with his friends (Michael Peña, T.I.). But when
he receives a message from the quantum realm he must illegally suit up as
Ant-Man and help Pym (Michael Douglas) and his daughter (Evangeline Lilly)
locate their missing wife/mother.
In the same jovial vein as the original,
this side-splitting sequel also adds a new dimension to the fold with Lilly’s
Wasp, who not only makes an excellent foil to Ant-Man but she also amps up the
action scenes.
And while Bee Woman was the first choice,
she died after firing her first stinger.
Green Light
Slender Man
The biggest problem with Internet urban
legends is that the supernatural entities are always so judgy and
mean-spirited.
Luckily, the meme monster in this horror
movie doesn’t have very much to say on any topic.
When their friend (Annalise Basso) disappears,
three teens (Joey King, Jaz Sinclair, Julia Goldani Telles) contact the fabled
Slender Man, a featureless figure who haunts the web, for help in finding her.
But during their meeting the girls make eye-contact with the gaunt giant and
are cursed with madness. The only way to stop him now is to give him want he
desires.
Inspired by the real-life legend that has
claimed some real victims, this fictional account ignores reality opting for a
more Bloody Mary vibe. Unfortunately, the scares are cheap, the acting
amateurish and the overall execution is ham-fisted.
Besides, just like every scam on the
Internet, Slender Man is really a Russian hacker. Red Light
***Super Farsighted***
X: The Man with the X-ray Eyes
The downside to x-ray vision is that you
have to match your wardrobe with a lead apron.
Surprisingly, the enhanced human in this
sci-fi horror movie is going without any radiation shield.
After developing an eye-drop that allows
users to see unseen spectrums, Dr. Xavier (Ray Milland) decides to test them on
himself. While he is initially able to see through clothing and flesh,
subsequent doses alter his eyes completely. On the lam he uses his gifts in a
sideshow and in Vegas to make money. Eventually his vision becomes so powerful
Dr. X can see through the universe.
A simplistic story with impressive
special-effects and some inventive camerawork from director Roger Corman, this
B-movie from 1963 solidified its cult status by having one of the most
shocking, unnerving endings in cinematic history.
Lastly, if you have x-ray eyes and a bad
attitude you can always work for airport security.
He’s the Man with the X-Rated Eyes. He’s
the...
Vidiot
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