He’s an Astral Projectionist. He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of April 10, 2015
Spirits should be sipped, not seen. First
up…
The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death
The best thing about dating a widow is that
closet full of men’s shoes and clothing she has.
Mind you, it’s not a husband the woman in
this horror movie is mourning – it’s a child.
Forced to evacuate during the Blitzkrieg,
boarding school headmistress Helen (Jean Hogg) and her deputy Eve (Phoebe Fox)
escort their students to Eel Marsh House in the serene English countryside.
Once there, Eve encounters the apparition
of a woman in black who torments her dreams, and lures her young pupils to
their deaths.
Aided by knowledge of the woman’s past, and
a stationed soldier (Jeremy Irvine), Eve attempts to end the phantoms reign
over the manor and the surrounding town.
While the setting is certainly spooky, this
sequel to the surprising original never rises above hackneyed jolts and cheap
special effects to bring its second-rate script to life.
Incidentally, English ghosts cease all
hauntings during teatime. Red Light
A Most Violent Year
The yearly rate of violence in a city
depends on whether or not its sports team wins the championship.
However, the brutality in this drama is
unrelated to playoff riots.
At the onset of the 1980s, Standard Oil
owner Abel (Oscar Isaac) experiences an inordinate amount of truck hijackings.
At the behest of his wife (Jessica
Chastain) he arms his drivers, but the violence only escalates.
While trying to figure out who’s behind the
thefts, Abel is also brokering a land deal that would see him monopolize the
oil import market in New York.
But with his funds depleting fast, Abel is
forced to borrow from unsavoury characters.
Despite a promising script and powerful
performances, this quasi crime-thriller is sluggish from start to finish with
very little violence or payoff at the end.
Besides, why steal from oil companies when
you could just buy a dinosaur and make your own? Yellow Light
The Babadook
The upside to your parent being possessed
by a demon is they don’t mind you listening to Heavy Metal music.
However, the inhabited mother in this
horror movie is more interested in listening to her child scream.
When children’s book character The Babadook
begins haunting Sam (Noah Wiseman) his widowed mother, Amelia (Essie Davis), is
hard-pressed to believe him.
It’s not until she disposes of the pop-up
book and it returns, does she finally believe in the Babadook’s existence;
however, she’s already possessed by the dark entity.
Meanwhile, Sam assembles an array of
booby-traps around their house to capture his mother and free her from the
Babadook’s clutches.
Light on gore and actual imagines of the
monster, this Australian import relies on shadows, creative camera work and a
subversive story to send shivers up your spine.
Mind you, it would’ve been funnier if she
were possessed by one of the Berenstain Bears.
Green Light
***Bad Manors***
The Others
The main difference between British and
American ghosts is that the English ones say Boo with the letter U.
But no matter how you pronounce the
exclamation in this horror movie, the end result is the same.
In the wake of WWII, new servants (Fionnula
Flanagan, Eric Sykes, Elaine Cassidy) are hired on at the country estate of
Grace Stewart (Nicole Kidman) to mind after her light-sensitive children
(Alakina Mann, James Bentley).
It’s not long before the staff learns of
their mistresses’ mysterious migraines and her children’s belief in spirits.
Not until a clairvoyant comes to the manor
is the truth behind the hauntings revealed.
Suffused in candlelight and foreboding
atmosphere, The Others is a true gothic horror with a wholly original script
and a twist ending that’ll shock and depress.
Parenthetically, the best way to get rid of
ethereal English occupiers is with the ghosts of deceased IRA members.
He Keeps a Stiff Upper Lisp. He’s the…
Vidiot
