He’s a Third Wheelman.
He’s the…
Vidiot
Week of July 14,
2017
Uber is not a
reliable getaway car. First up…
The Fate of the
Furious
The worst part of
street racing in the summertime is you have to slow down in construction zones.
Fortunately, the
motorists in this action movie can afford the double fines incurred.
While on a
mission to retrieve an electromagnetic pulse device for agent Hobbs (Dwayne
Johnson), former street-racer turned secret agent Dom (Vin Diesel) betrays his
crew (Michelle Rodriguez, Chris Bridges, Tyrese Gibson, Nathalie) and gives the
EMP to a terrorist, Cipher (Charlize Theron).
Backed by black
ops (Kurt Russell, Scott Eastwood), Hobbs and Dom’s crew track their former
comrade to Russia, where he and Cipher have commandeered a nuclear submarine.
Equipped with over-the-top
sports car chases, boastful banter and buckets of machismo, this eighth
installment in the Fast and Furious franchise maintains those touchstones.
However, its interpretation of those mainstays is more cartoonish than its
predecessors.
Furthermore, due
to the extreme depths they achieve, submarines are the ultimate low-rider. Yellow Light
The Promise
Dating during
wartime is hard since most of the restaurants and theaters are rubble.
However, the
couples in this drama have been able to find love amid a holocaust.
On the eve of WWI
an Armenian medical student (Oscar Isaac) studying in Constantinople manages to
evade conscription in the Ottoman army long enough to fall in love with a Paris
raised Armenian (Charlotte Le Bon). Unfortunately,
she is betrothed to an American newsman (Christian Bale) and he is promised to
a neighbour’s daughter.
All four lives
collide in the aftermath of the Great War, during Turkey’s systematic slaughter
of the Armenian people.
The Promise is a
well-acted piece of historical storytelling that doesn’t manipulate the facts
of the Armenian Genocide for the sake of fiction. Unfortunately, the awkward
love triangle only distracts from the enormity of the massacre.
Fortunately with
post-war breakups, you have your wife stateside to console you. Yellow Light
The Lost City of
Z
The easiest way
to find a lost tribe in the Amazon is to clear-cut the entire rainforest.
Sadly, the
explorers in this drama forgot to bring some lumberjacks with them.
After returning
home to England with ancient artifacts obtained on his latest expedition to the
jungle to prove the existence of an advanced civilization, renowned explorer
Percy Fawcett (Charlie Hunnam) becomes a laughingstock.
Not until after
WWI does Fawcett find funding through the Rockefellers and is able to return to
the wilderness with his son (Tom Holland) to find the lost city of Zed. Neither
father nor son returned to Nina Fawcett (Sienna Miller).
The haunting tale
of Fawcett’s real life disappearance that still remains unsolved, this artfully
shot biography is an engaging adventure saga that is hindered by poor editing,
a prolonged narrative and a weak lead.
Incidentally, if
lost tribes wanted Englishmen to find them they would build pubs. Yellow Light
***Explorers
Clubbing***
Aguirre, the
Wrath of God
By the time
technology makes exploring easy there’s nothing left to discover.
Which is why the
adventurers in this drama didn’t wait for Google Maps to exist.
While on a
Gonzalo Pizarro (Alejandro Repullés) lead expedition to find El Dorado, 16th
century Spanish conquistador Lope de Aguirre (Klaus Kinski) is allocated to a
small fleet sent down the Amazon river to scout ahead.
Joining Aguirre
on the raft is his daughter (Cecilia Rivera), his commander (Ruy Guerra), his
commander’s mistress (Helena Rojo), a nobleman and a priest.
Aguirre’s avarice
eventually results in a mutiny. While his madness steers everyone aboard
towards their deaths.
German director
Werner Herzog’s disturbing depiction of colonialism, this cult classic uses
fact on which to build its fictional account of Aguirre’s descent into lunacy.
Success is ultimately achieved thanks to Kinski’s haunting performance.
Incidentally, the
only civilization the conquistadors are credited with discovering is crazy
town.
He’s a Triple
Explorer. He’s the…
Vidiot
